Soulshine

I’ve come to belief that there is a real difference between an anxiety attack and a panic attack. When I have an anxiety attack I feel unusually warm, almost like I’m coming down with a fever or the flu. My forehead doesn’t feel warm or feverish, however, and so I know I’m not really physically sick. I know it’s a mental/emotional discomfort that’s fueling a physical reaction. During an anxiety attack, my mind is relatively under control on a conscious level, but subconsciously, I know that I am facing some choices that mean taking a risk and possibly facing rejection or abandonment. So it’s really about learning to move past my comfort zone and to grow more into the real me, which is always frightening. A panic attack for me is like an anxiety attack times 10. My conscious brain is running on full-throttle with anxious, devastating, out-of-control thoughts that wind me up inside till I feel like I’m going to implode. There’s a sense of despair and hopelessness and there ...

“It’s easier for me to focus on your problems than on my own.” Reba McEntire, Reba I was watching an episode of the TV show Reba recently where the title character blurted-out the line above. It’s a line every codependent can relate to because we are all guilty of focusing our attention on other people and their problems so we can avoid our own. In this particular episode, Reba is focused on the marital problems her daughter, Cheyenne, and son-in-law, Van, are experiencing, and she’s determined to fix their problems. Sound familiar? YES!!!! Likewise, we codependents are very good at focusing on the faults and failures of everyone around us. Sometimes we find ourselves very irritated by a particular person we live with or work with, and we spend way too much time renting out negative space in our heads to this person. Every time we turn around we are dwelling on something they have said or done that has rubbed us the wrong way. We may stew all day on this person and the...

“Martha, Martha, you are anxious and worried about many things. Mary has chosen the better way and it will not be denied her.” Jesus Christ, Gospel of Luke Addictive personalities are gods unto themselves. Even those of us who may be regular church-goers still suffer from self-godliness. We’re control freaks. We rule the world and everyone in it who affects us in any way. We’re all Martha’s, the Christian Patron Saint of Control Freaks. Like Martha we profess faith in a Higher Power, but we rarely relinquish control to that Higher Power. Every time we meet Martha in the Christian Gospels, she’s working hard at telling God what God needs to do, or she’s telling God how to correct the mistakes God has made. The quote above is taken from a story about Jesus visiting the home of the two sisters, Martha and Mary. Martha is anxious about preparing dinner while Mary is entertaining Jesus. Martha gets mad that Mary isn’t helping her and she commands Jesus to tell Mary to get ...