Reality Is a More Pleasant Place Than Neverland Is

The above quote is so true! Most of the stress I experience is a byproduct of my thoughts. Rarely does stress ever arise from what’s actually happening in the present moment. For one thing, I’d have to fully BE in the present moment to actually experience it, and my lifetime pattern of behavior has been to BE in my head.

Living in our heads is epidemic. I don’t know many people who haven’t learned to separate themselves from the present reality by living in the Neverland of their minds. And yet, the Neverland in our heads is a place where we are constantly being clawed by Captain Hook. How many times do we have to walk the plank before we finally realize that living in our heads is a big mistake?

The answer to that question probably lies in just how trapped we are in our addictive ways of thinking and acting. At some point in our lives, it was safer to leave reality behind and to live in our heads. Today, however, that is definitely no longer true for me.

The present moment is actual…

Are Your Thoughts Making You Physically Sick? Then Take Your Power Back from Them!

Thoughts have always been a problem for me because I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Rarely have my thoughts been on my side. Instead of being sources of healing for me, they’ve been sources of self-destruction. Until now.

Over the past few years, I’ve realized just how powerful my thoughts are. They can cause turmoil in my body in ways I never realized. Since 2005, I’ve been coping with acid reflux. I started with the over the counter medications, but then progressed to using prescription strength, which worried me because of the possible negative side effects. Those possible side effects made my OCD crazier, so four weeks ago I stopped taking the medication. Instead I’ve taken one Pepcid in the morning and one in the evening— if I’ve needed to!

Did I really have an acid reflux problem all those years, or was it my self-destructive thinking that upset my gastric system and caused me unnecessary problems? Seems it was the latter. I’m totally amazed that I’ve been able to go four …

Imagine How Speaking Kindly to Yourself Can Help You Grow

I don’t have a green thumb and have never gardened. But I’ve certainly heard enough about how plants actually do grow when people speak kindly to them. So I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that plants also die when people say ugly things to them.

It’s about time that we codependents stop talking ugly to ourselves. It’s impossible to be happy or grow in any positive way when we are consistently hard on ourselves with our words and in our thoughts. Harsh thoughts affect our bodies and thus our physical health as well as our mental and emotional health. I know this is true because anytime I’m being hard on myself with ugly thoughts, my digestion problems go through the roof.

When I start speaking kindly to myself, my whole body calms down and I feel fine. My digestion problems diminish and my blood pressure returns to normal.

It makes no sense to choose to punish ourselves with ugly self-thoughts. We want others to speak kindly to us, right? Then we need to be the first to do so. And we …

Avoiding Drama by Managing My Monkeys

It’s pretty easy for me to recognize and avoid other people’s drama today. I now know when something is not my circus and not my monkeys. But managing and avoiding my OWN circus and my own monkeys is a different story.

I was watching a tv show last night and immediately recognized how the lead character was creating his own drama. The frightening thing was that I saw myself in him TOTALLY! The dramas he created for himself, and inflicted on his friends, were the exact same ones that I get entranced in: relationship issues, make believe health problems, workplace drama, etc. I sat basically watching myself on tv and I was horrified.

The past two weeks my OCD has been overactive and has had me acting out all sorts of health-related dramas. I’ve magnified little things and turned them into gut-churning fears and traumas—all at my own expense. And, even though I’ve kept it all pretty much to myself, after watching tv last night, I realize how much I’ve gushed my little health dramas all …

I Am Empowered!

In his book “I Am,” Howard Falco does a masterful job of pointing out how powerful internalized “I Am” statements are. Negative “I Am” statements filter through our conscious minds and embed themselves in the subconscious mind. As a result, they become tapes that play repeatedly through our heads. No wonder we often feel so bad about ourselves.

This process is made even worse for addictive persons who also have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). OCD makes intrusive, negative thoughts almost impossible to control. The thoughts rob victims of their personal power over not only the snowballing thoughts but the emotions that accompany them. Life becomes a nightmare of horrible “I Am” thoughts and desperate feelings. When my OCD kicks in uncontrollably, I get knots in my stomach, shooting pains in my chest and my indigestion goes off the scale. If panic sets in, I get nauseous and start hyperventilating.

I’ve had a bad bout with the OCD over the last week, but I think I made it over the…

Walking Is a Great Off-Switch for Negative Thinking

Wouldn’t it be great if our brains had on/off switches that allowed us to turn off all negative thoughts? Great? It would be awesome. Almost all of my personal misery is produced by negative, obsessive-compulsive thoughts that I often cannot control.

I realize that, as a safety mechanism, I learned as a child to live inside my head. The real world, and so many of the people in it, wasn’t safe. Living in my head seemed safer, and it probably was until I grew into adulthood.

Living in my head began to work against me in my teen years. Yes, it kept out much of the cruelty of the real world, but it also created a fearful, paranoid very small world inside of me. And because I unknowingly had Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), that world became a nightmare of compulsively reliving  bad experiences and creating imagined scenarios that were equally as unpleasant (“What if” thinking).

There is a reason why animals are happier than humans. It’s true that they stay in the present moment. They…

Let’s Lose Our Attachment to Toxic Thoughts

Losing our attachment to toxic people is a great feeling. But an even better feeling comes from losing our attachment to toxic thoughts about ourselves. In recovery, I’ve found it much easier to recognize and release toxic people than I have found it to recognize and release toxic internal poisons.

Toxic thoughts are so entrenched and they have so many toxic suppressed feelings attached to them. Toxic thoughts are like an endless chain-gang, and each thought has a ball and chain attached to it. The ball is the bomb-of-a-negative feeling that’s constantly imploding within us every time a certain negative thought resurfaces.

I’ve been working for years to recognize my toxic, self-deprecating thoughts and to face the feelings that are attached to them. Still, I struggle to be free. Every time I think I’ve dealt with the thoughts and feelings that swirl around “not being good enough” in multiple ways, I end up bitten in the butt again.

Last Saturday was great. I felt free to “feel pretty…