Today I Chose to Stand Up for My Right to be Me

 

SPEAK UP! Say what you believe! Be who you are! Forget what other people think. They have the right to live their lives as they choose, but they don't have the right to choose how YOU live your life. Only you have that right. So stop giving that right to people who think they own you.

That's the lesson that exploded out of me this evening. I spent most of the day feeling deeply irrelevant and depressed. Then at dinner, I realized I have spent too many weeks recently holding myself in: passing on the things I need to say, failing to express who I really am inside, refusing to own my right to my beliefs and opinions, etc. Suddenly, as if a lightning bolt had exploded inside of me, I was done. No more engaging in self-degrading silence to keep the peace.

Expressing who I am, what I believe and what I feel isn't a violation of the peace. Everyone else has that right and I refuse to deny it to myself anymore. People might not like who I really am, especially if they are used to being in control of me, but if they don't like me being who I am, then they need to adjust. I've certainly adjusted to who they really are and relationships are always a two way street.

Now that some of the poison inside of me has been released, I feel relieved-- not as much as I 'd like to, but I'll give it time. This is new territory for me. I know how to set boundaries, but I haven't done a good job of setting myself free from other people's opinions of me and the old need I've had for their approval. 

I've decided everything will be different now. I'm not going to be stepping in other people's crap anymore-- much less owning it. It's theirs to wade through. They need to change as much as I do. I'll own my life and they can own theirs. If they don't agree with these changes, they can walk away. If we can't get along by being true to ourselves, then it's best to part company. I'll survive-- and I'll learn to thrive by simply being true to me.