Soulshine

“Your soul can see that this moment NOW is full of gifts for you. Meanwhile, the ego is waiting for a better now.” Robert Holden Seems many of us need to learn to see life more clearly through the eyes of our souls. Robert Holden is certainly right. Our souls see the magic, the miracles, the blessings in each and every moment. But then, sadly, there’s a part of us that’s never satisfied. Whether it’s the ego or not, I can’t say. But I know I have a voice inside of me that’s rarely satisfied. That dissatisfied voice inside is always complaining about all of the things that it wants but cannot have. It complains that it wants love from this person or that person—a love that is never felt—and so the voice is miserable in its longing for what it can’t have. And in the process of its whining, I am made miserable. The disenchanted voice whines about many things. Life never seems to be what it wants life to be because this voice always wants all of the wrong things. At the

A life without expectations is a life lived in freedom. Expectations are nothing more than the demands we place on ourselves, others and life—and they gum-up our lives with disappointment and misery. Expectations bind us to many of the wants in our lives that can never be fulfilled. When our expectations aren’t met, when our wants don’t materialize, we are left bitter and resentful and angry. Expectations are head-games. They’re how we put our wants into motion in our minds. We expect that we should never make any mistakes at work; or we expect that our boyfriend should know that we want a certain bracelet for our birthday; or we expect that eventually we will meet the right person and live happily ever after. Sometimes we expect that people should always agree with us or that everyone should like us. And we expect all of these sorts of things because we mistakenly believe that our happiness is dependent upon them. So when our expectations fall through the floor, so does

We make dozens of choices every day. Yet there’s no choice we make more important than this one: Do I want to be right or do I want to be happy? Too often in the past I’ve found myself making the choice to be right—even in the face of a reality that clearly told me I was wrong. Life wasn’t responding the way I wanted, my fantasies weren’t being indulged, life wasn’t treating me fairly and I wasn’t going to stand for it. Things had to be my way—the right way—or else. Unfortunately the “or else” only ensured that I would be miserable. Many people get stuck in believing that being right is going to make them happy. This is a warped fantasy in itself. A few years ago an anonymous lady came to me with a problem. She had learned that her husband had been cheating on her and she had made the choice to divorce him because she had a rule that she lived by faithfully. That rule was “If my husband ever cheats on me, the marriage is over. I will leave and divorce him” and she was

“Oh, there’s a lull in my life It’s a void and empty space…” Alice Faye , There’s a Lull in My Life* Before recovery I more often than not felt like there was a lull in my life. Inside I felt a void and empty space that seemed to be bottomless. All of the shopping in the world failed to fill that void. And I couldn’t begin to eat enough cookies, donuts or cheesecake to fill up the empty spaces inside of me. In between shopping and sugar, I searched endlessly for that “special” person who could hopefully fill the void with love for me and replace my emptiness with happiness. But I never found that person. Or at least I never found that person until I looked in a mirror and finally realized that the only “special” person who was really missing from my life was me. Recovery has taught me that I am the one and only person who can calm the lull in my life; and that I am the only person who can fill the void or empty space inside of me—along with my Higher Power. I cre

“I never knew heaven could speak, but now I do I’ve learned it through a conversation with you I never knew heaven could dance, but now I do With every step another dream comes true I always thought heaven was somewhere Way up high in the sky above I never thought heaven was someone Like you for me to love I never knew heaven could hold such tender charms I never knew heaven could be here in my arms.” Harry Revel & Mack Gordon,  I Never Knew Heaven Could Speak There have been many great love songs over the decades, but unfortunately they have almost always expressed very needy, codependent believes. The focus is centered on finding heaven in someone else and the singer is hopelessly lost without that someone else. From Harry Nilsson’s sentiments in “Without You” (“I can’t live if living is without you”) to Irving Berlin’s sentiments in “I Never Knew Heaven Could Speak,” all of the emphasis is on finding happiness outside of one’s self. In other wo

Dear Lord, I believe I am God-Shaped-Whole. I am complete and I lack nothing that Your love cannot give me. My heart is complete when it is filled with love for You, myself and the love of others. Fill me with Your complete, unconditional love and help me to completely accept myself as a uniquely beautiful reflection of Your image and likeness. I will carry Your love in my heart as the fulfillment of my own self-love and as the grace I need to love everyone in my life. Amen.

“You are the only person who thinks in your mind! You are the power and authority in your world.” Louise Hay It’s true that we have power over our minds, although that power can sometimes be limited by brain chemistry. I suffer with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder which is caused by a lack of proper serotonin production. As a result, I sometimes am powerless to override negative thinking with positive thinking. Over the past six months I have been free of any drugs that help your brain to produce serotonin, like Zoloft or Prozac (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors). I wanted to see if I could now manage my serotonin through diet, exercise and an increased awareness of my obsessive (irrational) thinking. The first four months went really well. I got all of my feelings back and was able to cry again. One of the downsides of selective serotonin reuptake drugs is that they suppress your feelings. So I was initially happy to feel again—until some of the feelings got