Only You Can Fill the Lull in Your Life!

“Oh, there’s a lull in my life

It’s a void and empty space…”

Alice Faye, There’s a Lull in My Life*

Before recovery I more often than not felt like there was a lull in my life. Inside I felt a void and empty space that seemed to be bottomless. All of the shopping in the world failed to fill that void. And I couldn’t begin to eat enough cookies, donuts or cheesecake to fill up the empty spaces inside of me. In between shopping and sugar, I searched endlessly for that “special” person who could hopefully fill the void with love for me and replace my emptiness with happiness. But I never found that person.

Or at least I never found that person until I looked in a mirror and finally realized that the only “special” person who was really missing from my life was me. Recovery has taught me that I am the one and only person who can calm the lull in my life; and that I am the only person who can fill the void or empty space inside of me—along with my Higher Power.

I created the empty space by abandoning myself at a young age. I also created the void by maintaining a false image of God, and thus a failed relationship with God. The God I grew-up with was not a friendly or loving God. He was a judging and revengeful God. So, at a young age, I was robbed of the love that the true God had for me. That left a void so big that I eventually felt so unlovable that I abandoned my own self.

Many people who enter recovery are in the same dilemma that I was in. The first task of recovery is to learn to love yourself. That task requires that we have a loving, all-embracing Higher Power. All we need to fill the void inside of us is an ever-increasing self-love and the love of our Higher Power.

Working hand-in-hand with our Higher Power, we fill the void inside—the empty space that no other person can fill. Over time, as we continue through our recovery by faithfully working the 12 Steps and attending meetings, we will notice that we have fewer and fewer lulls in our lives. The emptiness begins to disappear and the void is gradually filled with the real love that we always wanted: our own and God’s.

Once we reach this point in recovery, we will begin to open up more to others and eventually we may find that other “special” person, who will then compliment our inner-happiness.

(*From the 1937 film Wake Up and Live!)