Soulshine

Many of us, as codependents, go through life looking like everything is just fine "from a distance." We're in a habit of not allowing other people to know that we're "angry, lonely, got no life to live." After all, from the time we were small, we were told we had no right to have any feelings, much less show, or reveal them to the world around us. So no matter how "hungry, thirsty for all love can give" we may be, we don't show it-- certainly not "up close" nor "from a distance." We put the false, happy little smile on our face and act as if everything is OK. If we can't bear our emotional pain any longer, and it begins to show in our eyes, we will still deny that anything is wrong, even when we are directly asked. Or it's actually called to our attention that our emotional pain is written all over our faces. Ever have a complete stranger walk up to you and say something like "Come on, it can'

In the height of my codependency, I was constantly searching for the arms of someone who could rescue me from loneliness, from lovelessness, from despair. It was habitual for me to run from heart, to heart, to heart; expecting that I was going to finally find the RIGHT one to save me. It never happened. I can't begin to count the number of hearts and arms I ran to, but I can tell you this: Prior to recovery, it never occurred to me that there was only one right heart to run to, and that right heart was my very own. Recovery has taught me that I can only meet my true self and my true Higher Power within my own heart. The heart is the doorway to the soul. The soul is the divine dwelling space of our Higher Power. We can only meet our real selves and our real Higher Power when we cross over the threshold of that door that unites our hearts to our souls. Roxette- From One Heart to Another So, I learned the important lesson that I had to res