If You're Angry, Lonely and Hungry for Love, Stop Hiding It




Many of us, as codependents, go through life looking like everything is just fine "from a distance." We're in a habit of not allowing other people to know that we're "angry, lonely, got no life to live." After all, from the time we were small, we were told we had no right to have any feelings, much less show, or reveal them to the world around us.

So no matter how "hungry, thirsty for all love can give" we may be, we don't show it-- certainly not "up close" nor "from a distance." We put the false, happy little smile on our face and act as if everything is OK. If we can't bear our emotional pain any longer, and it begins to show in our eyes, we will still deny that anything is wrong, even when we are directly asked. Or it's actually called to our attention that our emotional pain is written all over our faces. Ever have a complete stranger walk up to you and say something like "Come on, it can't be that bad." I have. But of course, I'd just add a fake grin to my face and move on and pretend everything was dandy. My heart was breaking into pieces one more time, my soul was completely drained, but I had to be the great trooper of denial.

Recovery teaches us that we have a right to our feelings and that we have the right to own and express them honestly. It teaches us we need to admit when we're in a bad emotional space-- admit it to ourselves, our Higher Power and to trusted friends or family. We need to honestly talk about it, get the poisonous thoughts/feelings out of our system and regain a healthy emotional balance.

If you're still hiding your feelings and trying hard to make everything look OK "from a distance," please stop, go to a CODA or Al-Anon meeting. Make your voice heard and release all of that emotional poison so that you will no longer need to hide anything "from a distance."


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