In Recovery We Learn That Our Self-Worth Never Depends on Another Person

Actually, I think a better spin on the above quote would be “your self-respect and self-worth never depend on another person.” Why? Because codependents make another person into their Higher Power, just like alcoholics make liquor into their Higher Power.

And when we are constantly choosing people— mostly toxic people— to be our false Higher Power we generally make the mistakes listed below:

We hand over all of our self-worth and we’ll-being to another person, then we start manipulating, or trying to change them into making us happy (instead of being responsible for our own happiness), we forgive them over and over every time they lie to or abuse us in other ways, because we trust their words while ignoring their actions, and we go running back to them over and over because we have become so addicted to our need for their approval. 

In recovery we learn that we don’t need anyone’s approval, especially a toxic person’s, except our own. Recovery teaches us to turn our lives over to a REAL Higher Power (not a person or object) to own our personal power, to approve of ourselves through self-acceptance, and to grow into complete, whole persons through growing our self-love. Growing self-acceptance and self-love help us to grow our self-worth and self-esteem.

I’m learning to stop breaking my own heart. My hope is that everyone who reads this is learning to do the same.