Focusing on the Good Diminishes and Destroys the Negative

Codependents, and others with addictive personalities, rarely focus on the positive. We focus on what’s missing, lacking or negative about ourselves and our lives.

Focus is a learned behavior. Sure, there may be people who have trouble focusing due to an imbalance in their brain chemistry. But so many of us who grew up in addictive households watched and listened to the behavior and words of our parents: behaviors and words that so often were focused on our parents poor self-love, lack, insecurity, negativity and longing for what they couldn’t have in life.

I certainly grew-up ALWAYS focused on the negative— on my every personal flaw, on the flaws of others, and on the massive negativity of the world that surrounded me.

Recovery has taught me to focus on the positive. And it’s really true: the more we focus on the good, the better the good gets. And, in the process, the smaller the bad becomes. The more I focus on thinking positive, even in the face of adversity, the more I turn things over to my Higher Power and allow God to guide me through toward positive outcomes and solutions.

In doing so, my fear melts, my confidence grows and my heart opens in miraculous ways, even to people who are causing the chaos or negativity that I’m faced with handling. I’m able to act from a positive place, instead of my old negative self, and I’m better able to weather and quiet the drama the other person is throwing at me.

And even if the other person isn’t able to meet me half way, once they are gone, I no longer hold on to their negativity. It leaves with them. Any anxiety they caused I then surrender to God and return to focusing on the positive in my life.

I retain my personal power over my own happiness— and you can, too. We all can. We just have to make the effort.