The Bride of Gingy

Last night I was watching Scared Shrekless. The first “horror” story in this Halloween movie is called “The Bride of Gingy.” And Gingy’s bride is nothing short of an overly-clingy codependent nightmare.

If you are familiar with the Shrek movies, you know that Gingy is the gingerbread man. In “The Bride of Gingy,” Gingy goes to see the village baker because he is lonely and wants a sweetheart of his own. So the village baker agrees to make a gingerbread girl for Gingy. As the baker begins to mix-in the proper amount of sugar, according to his recipe, Gingy insists that the baker include 10 times more sugar than the recipe calls for using. He wants his bride to be truly sweet.

Within a short time, Gingy meets his dream girl, Sugar. Suddenly we see them skipping hand in hand through flower-filled fields while the song “Happy Together” by The Turtles plays in the background. But “happily ever after” is not how this story ends.

Next we see Gingy and Sugar together in his gingerbread house. She is smothering him with kisses and feeding him “forget-me-not” Valentine candies. Next, she goes through his house pasting her picture over the pictures of Gingy’s friends. In other words, goodbye Shrek, goodbye Donkey, goodbye Pinocchio. As far as Sugar’s concerned there’s no need, or room, for other people in Gingy’s life. She’s all he needs.

It takes all of about seven minutes for Gingy to realize that he has created a monster: A very codependent monster who wants to zap all of the life out of him by possessing his every moment, his every breath. And so Gingy runs for his life to escape from her!

I used to be like the Bride of Gingy. I was very needy inside and very clingy. And I sent many a person running from me, too. Sometimes those old needy feelings still haunt me. At least I’m aware of them now and even though deep down I want to act on them by running to and clinging to someone else, I don’t. I now know better than to try and make someone else responsible for my uncomfortable feelings. I need to own them myself and be responsible for them. They will eventually pass through me and I will be stronger by facing them and allowing them to pass through me.

If I need additional help, I can always hand these uncomfortable feelings over to my Higher Power, or talk to a recovery friend about how I’m feeling. But I no longer need to smother a loved one with them.