Soulshine

Everyone has multiple opportunities to become the hero of their own life story. In Disney’s Maleficent , we focus primarily on the character who is portrayed as the evil fairy in the traditional story of Sleeping Beauty. We learn her complete story: The fact that she began life as a good fairy who was the champion of her people against an evil king, who was then betrayed by her close friend and the future heir to the evil king’s throne, Stefan. We thus learn why Maleficent became so bitter and why she cast an evil spell upon her betrayer’s first born child, Aurora. Maleficent, like all of us, was not born evil. Redemption was always within her grasp. And, although we are addicts, redemption is always within our grasp as well. It’s completely up to our being willing to choose to redeem ourselves from addiction. That’s the first step: admitting we have a problem and that we are now willing to do something to help ourselves. And how is Maleficent redeemed? She is redeemed throug...

Disney’s Pinocchio takes on the theme of developing an informed conscience. If we are to be honest with ourselves and with others—as recovery requires us to be-- we need to know how to judge right from wrong and how to be responsible for the negative consequences of our own behavior. In many ways Pinocchio represents the typical child. We witness his birth shortly after Geppetto, his creator, wishes on a star for Pinocchio to become a real boy. The Blue Fairy appears and grants his wish. Pinocchio becomes animated and alive and yet he is not yet a real boy. Why? Because he has yet to develop a conscience. So Jiminy Cricket is called upon to act as a conscience for Pinocchio. We all go through the human process of developing an informed conscience. At a young age we begin the process of learning the difference between right and wrong, kind and mean-spirited, sharing and hoarding. Some of these moral choices are taught to us, but many of them we must learn for ourselves through...

Disney’s Tangled places a new spin on the Grimm Fairytale Rapunzel . We meet Disney’s Rapunzel just before her 18th birthday. She has a spirit of adventure. Every year on her birthday, she has seen lanterns light-up the night sky, and her heart is telling her to follow the lanterns. She is anxious to do so. But Mother Gothel stands in Rapunzel’s way. Mother Gothel is vain, selfish and manipulative, and as a codependent I can unfortunately relate to her need to control someone to ensure her own happiness. Gothel kidnapped the infant Rapunzel because she (Gothel) is able to retain her youthful beauty by simply touching Rapunzel’s golden, radiant hair. So she is determined to keep Rapunzel a prisoner in the tower by infusing her with fear concerning the dangers of the outside world. Fear becomes the major obstacle that stands in the way of Rapunzel’s quest for adventure and freedom to live her own life. She has developed a comfort zone in the tower with Mother Gothel. Part of he...

Author’s Note: The next few meditations will be from a retreat I directed recently called The Good News According to Disney . If you aren’t familiar with the films that are referenced, I’d suggest to take time to see them and to look for the deeper meaning within them. Many people today still live by the biblical adage “an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.” They actually believe that they will be at peace if they achieve revenge or restitution for any mishap that has befallen them at the hands of another. They believe they will reclaim their personal power once they have achieved their revenge, but this is impossible. Disney’s Cinderella (2015) reveals the true secret to owning one’s personal power and to retaining it no matter what we experience in life: “Have courage and be kind.” On the surface this motto looks a bit simple and wimpy. But in reality, it holds great power. That power comes from the heart of a person, or in this case Ella, who sees the world not a...

“In the end all that matters is how well did you love, how well did you live, how well did you learn to let go.” Anonymous The addictive personality thrives on control. It is hypervigilant and aggressive about making sure that all is as it “should be.” The need to control never sleeps. When we’re in this control-life-at-all-costs mode, we run on adrenaline and fear 24 hours a day. We are constantly monitoring everyone and everything around us. We must make sure that all of life cooperates with our desires, expectations and assumptions. Whenever we discover a threat to our imagined serenity, we are quick to move into Terminator mode and stamp it out as quickly as possible. So we pull out our inner-arsenal of manipulative behaviors, like flattery, caretaking, people-pleasing and self-righteousness to beat down anyone who might be standing in the way of our perceived happiness. As a result, we “love” and “live” poorly. Notice I said “imagined” serenity and “perceived” ...

One of the most important things about attending a recovery group, like Alcoholics Anonymous or Codependents Anonymous, is that you get to tell your story. Our personal stories are very important. They represent a life that is like no other. Yes, we all have overlapping experiences in life, but no one else has ever experienced life in exactly the same way as we have experienced it. We have all experienced painful situations in our lives, but no one has experienced emotional, mental, physical or spiritual pain as we have. So it’s important that we share our stories, the good and the bad, with people who are safe. Telling our story is scary territory for many of us. First off, we grew up with the unwritten rule that we are forbidden to tell our family story. We were told things like “What happens in this house stays here. You understand that?!!!” Or “We don’t air our dirty family laundry, so keep your mouth zipped!!!” As a result, so many of us learned to clam-up and keep every...