Soulshine

“Love yourself And the rest will follow.” Don Miguel Ruiz    Kindness is an act of acceptance and of love. Whenever we acknowledge our weaknesses and personal brokenness and treat ourselves with kindness we are loving ourselves. Kindness is the healing ointment we cover our hearts and souls with in order to alleve the emotional pain generated by negative thinking about ourselves.    Practicing kindness means we replace our stinging, hurtful self-thoughts with gentle, compassionate self-talk. It means that we work on sympathizing with and thus better understanding ourselves— and the fact that we are flawed, or perfectly imperfect, just as EVERYONE IS! Kindness is the process by which we reclaim our wounded self-love.    For humans there’s great importance to understanding that we are ALL in the same dilemma; that we all suffer from inner-brokenness. First, it helps us to be less critical of ourselves when we truly acknowledge that no one is...

“You will never be happy until you are happy with yourself.” Robert Holden, Happiness Now    Our personal happiness is not about people, places or things. No one on this earth has true power over our own happiness but us. No one on this earth is responsible for our happiness but us. No thing can make us truly happy. No place will bring us lasting happiness. And no trip or lottery winnings will ever make us happy forever.    Authentic happiness is found only in accepting and loving ourselves unconditionally. It is found in befriending ourselves and becoming the best thing that has ever happened to us. It is found in gratitude for our very lives.    In recovery we learn that no one else can MAKE us happy. And we learn that we cannot MAKE anyone else happy. Happiness is not e arned through caretaking or people-pleasing. We also learn that happiness cannot be achieved through accomplishments, or bestowed upon us as a reward for good behavi...

   On this Valentine's Day, I offer you a prayer for self-love and self-nurturing:     Love is God’s gift to me. It is a gift I choose to accept today. I will walk into the sunshine of God’s love and allow each love-ray to enliven my soul. As I bask in this great warmth, I will share it with myself— allowing myself to feel my own inner-love for simply being me.    I will nurture that love by kissing my shoulders, by wrapping my arms around myself and giving myself a heart-warming hug. Then I will take time to do something else nurturing for me, like taking a long, gentle walk. It will give me time to talk to my Higher Power and to strengthen my body. Next, I will eat a meal filled with fruits and vegetables. And finally, I will do something I love: Read a book, take a nap, or watch a movie.    Later I will make time for friends. I will call a friend or family member and connect on an emotional and spiritual level. In these and...

“Live always gets better when you treat yourself better.” Robert Holden, Be Happy    Focus is important to recovery. We must learn to turn our focus from outside ourselves to inside ourselves. Our focus must be on us: on caring for ourselves, on meeting our own needs and on being responsible for our own happiness.    This is a rough adjustment for most addictive persons because we have used our addictions— to other people, places and things— as a means of escaping ourselves. Every time we “act-out” we are refusing to face ourselves and to care for our own needs.    We are very comfortable with the idea that someone or something else should meet our needs, even though we now know that this very idea is insanity. No one can fix or rescue us. We must become willing to do that. And we can do it. First, We can learn to focus on our feelings. Emotions are the internal barometer of a human being. They tells us what we need to know about our...

“Love yourself And the rest will follow.” Don Miguel Ruiz    Kindness is an act of acceptance and of love. Whenever we acknowledge our weaknesses and personal brokenness and treat ourselves with kindness we are loving ourselves. Kindness is the healing ointment we cover our hearts and souls with in order to better recover from our self-loathing.    Practicing kindness means we replace our stinging, hurtful self-talk with gentle, compassionate self-talk. It means that we work on sympathizing with and thus better understanding ourselves— and the fact that we are flawed, or perfectly imperfect, just as EVERYONE IS! Kindness is the process by which we reclaim our wounded self-love.    In recovery, there’s great importance to understanding that we are ALL in the same dilemma; that we all suffer from inner-brokenness. First, it helps us to be less critical of ourselves when we truly acknowledge that no one is perfect. Second, the more we pr...

“No amount of self-improvement can make up for any lack of self-acceptance.” Robert Holden, Be Happy    In his book, The Addictive Personality , Craig Nakken says “addiction on its most basic level, is an attempt to control and fulfill the desire for happiness.”   And indeed, every addict wants to end their great unhappiness. Problem is that few addicts are aware of their true source of unhappiness.    We mistakenly think our misery is about many things, such as our inability to find Mr. or Ms. Right, or our inability to make things right between family members, or our inability to find that “right” job or “right” place to live.    In truth, once we enter recovery, we are made aware that the source of our great unhappiness is US!    Every addicts suffers from tremendous self-loathing. Many of us have long hated ourselves and we’ve taken every possible opportunity to demean ourselves. Our negative self-talk has weighed o...