Happiness Is Loving Me-- First



“You will never be happy until you are happy with yourself.”
Robert Holden, Happiness Now

   Our personal happiness is not about people, places or things. No one on this earth has true power over our own happiness but us. No one on this earth is responsible for our happiness but us. No thing can make us truly happy. No place will bring us lasting happiness. And no trip or lottery winnings will ever make us happy forever.
   Authentic happiness is found only in accepting and loving ourselves unconditionally. It is found in befriending ourselves and becoming the best thing that has ever happened to us. It is found in gratitude for our very lives.
   In recovery we learn that no one else can MAKE us happy. And we learn that we cannot MAKE anyone else happy. Happiness is not earned through caretaking or people-pleasing. We also learn that happiness cannot be achieved through accomplishments, or bestowed upon us as a reward for good behavior. Nor can happiness be purchased or reached on another continent.
   Happiness is the gift of self-acceptance. It arrives when we stop beating ourselves up and start looking for the good within us. It begins when we acknowledge that we can’t be perfect and thus accept the good and the bad about ourselves; knowing we need both to be whole— to be real human beings. And accepting it’s OK to be me.
   Once we come to a true level of acceptance and self-love, miracles will begin to happen. We will begin to feel comfortable in our own skin. We will learn to set boundaries, expressing our true beliefs, wants and needs without allowing anyone to transgress our dignity, or belittle us. We will no longer accept hurtful behavior from others, and we will begin to attract people who are nurturing to us.
   As we become honest with ourselves about our value as humans, our likes, spiritual needs and personal needs, we will attract like-minded people. Friendships will blossom and they will compliment our growing inner-happiness.
    We will discover that healthy relationships are interdependent. They involve people who come together to compliment each other and enjoy each others company, talents and gifts. We will be happy when we are with new friends and when we are alone.
   We will no longer see people as objects made to fill up our inner-emptiness, but as human beings to share life and joy with each day.
   We will also see family members in new ways. We will better understand their brokenness and we will no longer try to fix it, or feel responsible for their unhappiness. In addition, we will learn that their behavior is about them and we will no longer allow their negativity to rob us of our happiness, as we begin to love them despite their brokenness.
   And all of this will come about through the lone gift of our self-acceptance and self-love!

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