Soulshine

I don’t have a green thumb and have never gardened. But I’ve certainly heard enough about how plants actually do grow when people speak kindly to them. So I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that plants also die when people say ugly things to them. It’s about time that we codependents stop talking ugly to ourselves. It’s impossible to be happy or grow in any positive way when we are consistently hard on ourselves with our words and in our thoughts. Harsh thoughts affect our bodies and thus our physical health as well as our mental and emotional health. I know this is true because anytime I’m being hard on myself with ugly thoughts, my digestion problems go through the roof. When I start speaking kindly to myself, my whole body calms down and I feel fine. My digestion problems diminish and my blood pressure returns to normal. It makes no sense to choose to punish ourselves with ugly self-thoughts. We want others to speak kindly to us, right? Then we need to be the first to do so...

It’s pretty easy for me to recognize and avoid other people’s drama today. I now know when something is not my circus and not my monkeys. But managing and avoiding my OWN circus and my own monkeys is a different story. I was watching a tv show last night and immediately recognized how the lead character was creating his own drama. The frightening thing was that I saw myself in him TOTALLY! The dramas he created for himself, and inflicted on his friends, were the exact same ones that I get entranced in: relationship issues, make believe health problems, workplace drama, etc. I sat basically watching myself on tv and I was horrified. The past two weeks my OCD has been overactive and has had me acting out all sorts of health-related dramas. I’ve magnified little things and turned them into gut-churning fears and traumas—all at my own expense. And, even though I’ve kept it all pretty much to myself, after watching tv last night, I realize how much I’ve gushed my little health dram...

In his book “I Am,” Howard Falco does a masterful job of pointing out how powerful internalized “I Am” statements are. Negative “I Am” statements filter through our conscious minds and embed themselves in the subconscious mind. As a result, they become tapes that play repeatedly through our heads. No wonder we often feel so bad about ourselves. This process is made even worse for addictive persons who also have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). OCD makes intrusive, negative thoughts almost impossible to control. The thoughts rob victims of their personal power over not only the snowballing thoughts but the emotions that accompany them. Life becomes a nightmare of horrible “I Am” thoughts and desperate feelings. When my OCD kicks in uncontrollably, I get knots in my stomach, shooting pains in my chest and my indigestion goes off the scale. If panic sets in, I get nauseous and start hyperventilating. I’ve had a bad bout with the OCD over the last week, but I think I made it o...