Soulshine

It’s taken me a long time to take my power back from my thoughts. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, combined with codependency, ensured an endless flow of negative thoughts that engulfed my mind and determined my behavior for years. But things have recently changed. I’ve finally worked Steps 6 and 7 successfully. I’ve acknowledged that I no longer want negative “what if this or that happens” thinking to control my mind, having endless terrifying power over me. And I’ve sincerely surrendered it to my Higher Power, who has taken it from me. Hurray! Now that I am no longer giving power to fearful thoughts, they no longer have any power over me. Next year I’ll be starting a new job position in a new city. I’ll be moving from the West coast to the East coast of the United States. I will be working with people I don’t know and I will have no family or friends in my new city of ministry. Am I filled with fear? Are troubling “what if” dramas running through my mind? NO! Everything ...

Looking back over 2018, I realize that this has been a great year of inner-conversion for me. There are several lessons that I’ve learned through Recovery, and some of the most important ones, have incorporated themselves into my thinking and behavior this year. Here are the lessons that are making my life so much better… 1.      Attention Does Not Equal Affection : Growing up as an isolated person who felt ultimately unlovable, I grew to desperately desire affection. Most people seemed to avoid me, or so I thought. Truth is, my behavior and body language told people to stay away from me. When someone was willing to have enough compassion for me to push past my steel-wall barriers, I immediately mistook their kind attention for true affection. I was desperate for any small crumbs of affection that I could find. So I immediately mistook their kindness. Instead of seeing that these people were simply being nice, I immediately jumped to the conclusion that the...