Who is Your God?


Codependents tend to serve multiple gods. Oh sure, most of us think we only serve the God who created us. But in reality we have many more gods that we serve on a daily basis and who are much more essential to our lives—in all of the wrong ways.

Parents, spouses, lovers, friends, bosses, coworkers, neighbors, ministers, even the guy who runs the local dry cleaners can become our god if we choose to give our power away to them. And too often we choose to do this by deciding that we need the approval of these people to be OK.

I’ve met many people who have spent their entire lives desperately seeking the approval of Mom or Dad. They’ve bent over backwards to achieve top honors in sports or civic organizations, graduated from college with 4.0 grade point averages, started successful businesses, or excelled at being great humanitarians. They’ve bought Mom or Dad luxurious gifts, beautiful new homes or cars and still nothing is ever “good enough” for Mom or Dad.

And they’ve done all of this for only one reason: They made Mom or Dad into their false god and they desperately—for whatever reason-- need the approval of that false god. Sooner or later, everyone stuck in this warped way of thinking needs to realize that 1) they do not need Mom or Dad’s (or anyone else’s) approval to be OK; 2) that there is absolutely nothing they can do to earn someone else’s approval. There is no magic thing that we can say or do that will magically change someone into being what we want (i.e. the perfect Mom or Dad who lavishes love and approval on us); and 3) we need to be able to surrender our need for the approval of others to the REAL God and learn to love ourselves—and those whose approval we want—just the way we/they are.

We only strive for the approval of others because we refuse to give our own approval to ourselves. There are only two beings in this world whose approval we all need: The first is God and we already have God’s approval because God created us. Everyone who is born into this world comes with God’s approval already stamped on him/her (just check your left cheek—the one you sit on, that is—and you’ll find God’s seal of approval)! The second is your own. That’s it. You need God’s approval, and you already have it, and you need your own—and NOBODY ELSE'S!!!

So if you have made someone in your life into a false god by believing that you have to have his/her approval to be OK in this world, then please take time today to dethrone that person. You do not need their approval. Give to yourself what you have so desperately wanted from them. You have the power.

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