Every Day Life Offers a New Teacher

Everyone we encounter is a teacher. Everyone has something to teach us about ourselves or about life. And last week, I learned a new lesson about myself from an Ebay seller.

I collect old movie posters/lobby cards. I had won a beautiful one on Ebay and it arrived damaged last week. As soon as I saw the packaging, I knew there was a problem. The lobby card had been mailed in a manila envelope and only had one ill-fitting piece of cardboard inside. The cardboard was behind the card so there was nothing protecting the front side (the image on the card) aside from the manila envelope, which had been torn in two places during shipping.

Sure enough, when I opened the package the lobby card was damaged in those two spots. I immediately contacted the seller expressing my disappointment about the poor packaging and damaged card, and included photos of the damage. I felt justified in registering my complaint. I had paid for a near mint lobby card, not a damaged one. In addressing the issue at hand, I was properly setting boundaries to protect myself, and that felt good.

But just after the seller responded, my feelings changed. The seller was very courteous and admitted that they had run low on cardboard and that they took a risk in mailing the lobby card as they did. The seller offered me a refund and told me to keep the damaged card. Instead of feeling relief and vindicated, however, I felt guilty.

Why would I feel guilty? Well, I grew-up never feeling equal to others. I always felt lesser than and unworthy of proper treatment. And what had I received from the seller? Proper treatment. So there was an old part of me that felt unworthy of being treated with respect. That part of me started squirming because that was the part of me that in the past said “Oh, well, so the card is damaged. You should just keep it and say nothing. You shouldn’t return it because you don’t deserve anything better.” When I realized this, I better understood why I felt guilty. I still have a place inside of me that doesn’t feel worthy of being treated right.

The guilt didn’t last for long, and thankfully it didn’t keep me from standing up for myself. And in the process, this Ebay seller taught me a new lesson about a wounded place that still needs healing inside of me.


Everyone is worthy of being treated with proper respect. There are no exceptions.

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