Want to Be Reasonably Happy? Take Charge of Your Life!

God helps those who help themselves is a very old adage, and it’s very true. No one can help us in our recovery until we are first willing—and determined—to help ourselves, not even God. Why? Because no one can do for us what we must do for ourselves.

A good therapist can listen and empathize with us, and can point us in the right direction. A good sponsor can also listen and empathize and provide us with important tools to aid us in our recovery. And a good support group can provide us with a sense of belonging and with new self-awareness. But we will fail miserably if we expect that they should do more for us.

Many people enter recovery and expect to be taken care of by others. They either have no understanding of self-care or they have no intentions of doing it. Instead, they think that they need only whine, cry and demand that others do their recovery for them. But recovery does not work this way.

Recovery only works when we realize that we have one life to live and that our life is important. We have to be willing to do more than show up for counseling appointments and support group meetings. We have to be willing to read recovery books, work the 12 Steps and to take full responsibility for our own lives and happiness.

Many people come to me for help with their recovery. I point them in right directions and tell them essential things they must do for themselves. Some people jump right in and take charge of their lives. Other people, however, call me constantly whining. I then ask them “Did you do this…” or “Did you do that…” to help yourself, and the response is always “No. I can’t.” And unfortunately I have to tell them that I can no longer help them because it’s impossible to help someone who isn’t willing to help him or herself.

I can’t work anyone’s recovery for them. A sponsor cannot work another person’s recovery for them. Even God cannot help someone who isn’t first willing to help themselves.

Recovery is hard work. We must be willing to commit to it, and it is a lifetime commitment. There is no easy or simple way to full recovery. Anyone who is willing to help themselves will find that there are resources galore and helping hands all through the process. They will also discover a Higher Power who is there to assist and do for them what they aren’t able to do for themselves. And they will find great success and be reasonably happy in this life.