In Recovery, We Have to Become Unwilling to Accept Abuse to Become Willing to Change

For years, many of us have stayed stuck in the addictive behaviors we learned as children because we were unwilling to change. To be fair, we first had to gain awareness of the fact that we had a problem in order to be willing to face it and change. But even after entering Recovery programs like Alcoholics Anonymous or Codependents Anonymous, many of us chose to stay stuck, even though are eyes had been opened.

Why? Because initially we were unwilling to change our old patterns of behavior. They felt familiar and comfortable, even if they made us miserable. As Gary John Bishop says, it wasn't until we became unwilling to be manipulated, verbally abused or emotionally frustrated that we finally said "we're done with this!" It was then that we became unwilling to accept abuse from anyone anymore, including from ourselves.

 And that is when we finally became willing to change our ways of thinking, acting and being. We became unwilling to exist any longer by constantly giving our personal power away to others. So we became willing to own our personal power by learning to set boundaries with others, by learning to speak up and ask for what we need and by refusing to be mean to ourselves any longer.

 Once we were unwilling to exist, unsatisfied and unfulfilled; once we were tired of being physically and spiritually drained; and once we could no longer stand the emotional pain, did we become willing to make changes in ourselves and our lives. Actually, once we became willing to change, we became willing to be ourselves and to actually live, instead of just existing as someone else's doormat.

In Recovery it's important to be willing to change and willing to accept that the change we really want is internal and will take time. There's no overnight cure. But sometimes we have to become unwilling to become willing. What are you unwilling to tolerate in your life today? Allow it, with the help of your Higher Power, to lead you to be willing to change your life for the better-- for the best life imaginable.