Christmas Time Is Here— Happiness and Cheer, or Anxiety and Fear?


“Christmas time is here, happiness and cheer.” Or is it “anxiety and fear”?

Christmas holidays can be a wonderful or a horrible time for codependents. The key is this: How we’ll do you take care of yourself? At Christmas gatherings, do you allow yourself to be comfortable with being quiet, if you’re an introvert, or do you punish yourself for being quiet? Truth is that it’s ok to be quiet and just observe and enjoy the beauty around you— the Christmas decorations, etc. It’s also ok to enjoy the festive feeling others are displaying and allow yourself to feel festive, instead of anxious, just because it’s your nature to be quiet.

Boundaries are the other key to a happy holiday. Don’t allow anyone to insult, belittle or invade your space in ways that make you uncomfortable. Sometimes people stand too close to me and I simply ask them to back away, telling them “You’re so close, your out of focus in my eyes!” They understand because I say it with a pleasant tone.

If anyone starts pressing your buttons, ignore it. If you refuse to react, they will stop because once they realize they can’t get a rise out of you, it’s no fun for them anymore. If someone is insulting, be sure to respond with something like “That hurt my feelings,” or “Are you trying to shame me?’ Or “I don’t appreciate being bullied and I won’t tolerate it. So please be kind.” If they ignore your boundaries, walk away. You don’t have to give people your personal power. Don’t tolerate abuse,

When we learn that we are equally as good as everyone else, it’s easier to take care of ourselves. And it easier to change “Christmas time is here, anxiety and fear” back into “Christmas time is here, happiness and cheer.”

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