Silence Your Inner-Critic!

Bryant McGill is a very wise man. In this video, he points out eight things we need to work on to silence our inner-critic: That negative voice inside our heads that perpetually makes us miserable by reinforcing negative beliefs we've adopted over the years. Let's look at some of those negative beliefs brought to the surface by McGill.

1) Stop comparing yourself to others. This very nasty little habit leads to the continual belief that we don't match-up to other people, that we aren't as good as they are, that we are deficient as human beings and thus worth less than others. When we learn to stop comparing ourselves to others, we discover that we do have intelligence, skills and personality enough to make a positive difference in this world.

2) Stop worrying about the things you cannot change. For many addicts, this is a huge one. Actually, for almost everyone I've ever encountered, this is a huge one. We spend endless hours worrying about everything we are powerless over. Why? If we're powerless over something, we can't change it, so what's the point in agonizing about it? Instead, we can release it to our Higher Power and trust that God will change what we are powerless to change.

3) Stop being so hard on yourself. I have several Gold Medals for this one. I'm a champion of criticizing my every thought, word and action. No one else needs to actually criticize me. I've already imagined them tearing me apart in my head. Often countless times. It's how I create a worthless drama for myself so I can feel my old, comfortable role as the victim. I've done it a lot recently during the COVID 19 isolation crackdown. Too much time to be in my head instead of being out and living life. Well, even in isolation we can still live life the best way possible-- and that's to find ways to get out of our critical heads.

4) Stop allowing other people's limiting beliefs to become your own. I began adopting my mother's limiting beliefs at a very young age. I wanted to be a rock star by the time I was seven. My mother told me it was a stupid idea. She said only very few people can achieve that, and the inference was that I was not good enough to be one of those people. I adopted her limiting belief and held on to it-- even though I grew into being a good singer. As adults, when we have a good idea, many of us are easily shot down by others whose beliefs are negative. We're not only discouraged, but we still often adopt their beliefs instead of relying on our own. That has to end.

5) Stop holding on to negative things from the past. The past is gone-- untouchable, unchangeable. Yes, we can make amends to ourselves and others for our past mistakes, but that's all we can do. Once we have made amends, there's no sense in holding onto and continually beating ourselves up for what we should now be seeing as a growing experiences, not mistakes.

6) Stop thinking happiness is only for other people. God created all of us to be happy. Relatives might have taught us that we don't deserve to be happy, but again, that was based in THEIR beliefs. We didn't have to adopt the belief that we have no right to happiness and we don't have to hold on to it anymore. Recovery teaches us that only we limit ourselves. No one denies us happiness but us. And often times we do that by placing the responsibility for our happiness into someone else's hands. Take back your power over your happiness.

7) Stop denying your gut instinct. Denying our gut instinct is in someways tied to adopting other people's negative beliefs as our own. When we take on someone else's negative belief, our gut will tell us it isn't right for us. But often times we don't trust ourselves enough to listen to our gut. Inside, we always know what's right for us. If we're confused, we can consult our Higher Power for clarity. We don't have to believe, do or be anything that our gut tells us is wrong for us.

8) Stop thinking you are not worthy of love. Oh, what a big one this is! I've spent my whole life believing I'm not worthy of love. It started at a very young age, and as I grew older, I looked for every possible sign to prove I wasn't worthy of love: a withdrawal of affection from someone, a glaring look from someone else, unkind words from various people, etc. Well, today I believe no one can make me unworthy of love. God created ALL of us to be lovable and loved. Only I can take my loveability away from me. The same is true for you. So let's choose to believe we ARE lovable!

If you have problems with any of these limiting beliefs, now's the time to face them and to change your thinking. Your life is what you and your Higher Power make it. No one else has any say in it, or power over you.