Soulshine

“It’s the only way you’ll ever be a free happy soul. I know. I had to go through the same thing. Sure it’s tough to break away from your family, your background and be yourself. They had it all fixed for me to settle down in Papa’s footsteps, to be a banker and a statesman, but I wanted to paint. It was the battle of the century, but I won.” Michael (Melvyn Douglas), Theodora Goes Wild The story behind the 1936 film Theodora Goes Wild revolves around two young adults who are at the mercy of their families. Michael and Theodora are from two different worlds: Big New York, New York and small-town Lynnfield , Connecticut , respectively. Michael’s father is a wealthy businessman and the Lt. Governor of New York . Theodora lives with her two elderly and highly Puritan aunts in the small town that was founded by her ancestors. So both Michael and Theodora have the eyes of their respective worlds upon them—and their behavior. Unbeknownst to the citizens of Lynnfi...

Here is a new prayer that I've written. I hope it helps you to "flow" freely with life by letting go of your need to control life. The flow of the Universe is natural and life-affirming I am an essential part of the universal flow I free myself to flow forward in every positive way I free myself of all self-imposed constraints I let go of all demands, expectations and assumptions And I flow with the Universe in my rightful place And I flow with love, peace and purpose And all is as it should be, all is well. Amen.

“Well you never lost but you never won,  cause you never fought and you never moved on…  If you’re gonna save a life, baby it should be your own.” Keaton Simons, Beautiful Pain Sometimes we, as codependents, never fight for ourselves and our lives and sometimes we give-up the good fight too easily. There could be a variety of reasons for this. First off, active non-recovering codependents are way too busy trying to save the lives of others. And their underlying motto is “No time for my life! Everyone else comes first!” And this type of thinking is so engrained it’s hard to shake, even if you’ve been in recovery for a while. But many of us in recovery know that our lives have to come first, and yet we can still fail to move on. We’ll take giant leaps forward, but then we’ll stall. Suddenly, we aren’t willing to fight for our right to be happy any longer and we’re back on our pity pots. Or worse, we’re tempted to simply go back to all of the old comfortable cod...

"Don't you see? I'm not Lula Mae Barnes,  but I'm not Holly Golightly either!" Audrey Hepburn, Breakfast at Tiffany's Every year since 2004, I’ve directed a retreat I call Open Up Your Heart and Let Yourself Out . The focus of this retreat is on a particular human tendency that haunts many people: the fear of self that leads to an endless flight from self.  Those of us who grew up in addictive households have struggled for years with the misguided belief that we aren’t good enough. As a result, we’ve also struggled with an inner-need to escape from ourselves. And so we’ve run and run and run from the very person who dwells within us; the one that we are so afraid to face. Maybe we’re fearful of finding out that this person inside of us really isn’t good enough. Or maybe our fear is just the opposite: Maybe we’re fearful of finding out we actually are good enough and our whole identity will be turned upside-down. During my retreat, I use t...

“You can’t just sit there and put everybody’s lives ahead of yours and think that counts as love.” Sam to Charlie, The Perks of Being a Wallflower The average codependent is very good at putting everyone else’s lives ahead of his own. Everyone else comes first for an active codependent because he believes that everyone counts in this world—except him. Since he thinks he doesn’t count, he has to find value somehow. And so it seems logical to him to find value in earning affection, much like everyone earns a paycheck at work. So, the codependent person becomes accustomed to putting everyone else’s needs first. “Your wish is my command” is a primary codependent motto. The average codependent subconsciously repeats this motto to herself as she busies herself attending to the every want and need of others while neglecting her own. She then anxiously awaits the payoff, which is usually receiving a few crumbs of affection in return. And all the while, Mr. or Ms. Codepend...

When you stand in front of that mirror and you’re beginning to cringe with discomfort, and the familiar old thought races through your subconscious mind “You are so unlovable,” remember this: You weren’t the first person who said those words to you. Someone else said them to you first. You accepted those words based on the false judgment of that person and you began the process of believing them. You started repeating them to yourself every time you looked in a mirror and you started that at a young age. You then became what you chose to believe about yourself. You made the conscious choice to believe the judgment someone else executed against you. And you can make the choice to stop believing it. Right here, right now you are the one who has to decide what you really believe about yourself. And you can choose to believe anything you want. You can choose to be anything you want. And you can choose to love what is—to love yourself just the way you are—if you really want to. ...