Loneliness Is a Self-Imposed Prison: It's Time to Breakout!

Loneliness can be a terrible experience. And yet, it’s an experience that many of us create and perpetuate for ourselves. More times than not, when we are suffering from loneliness it’s because we have isolated ourselves by playing the victim of life.

Often times our loneliness is accompanied by a feeling of being trapped. It’s as if our life is set in stone-- as if we have a ball and chain around our necks-- and there’s no escaping from our fate. We may also feel helpless and hopeless as we sit drowning in our sorrows; wishing that God or someone would rescue us from our lonely despair.

Well, the only one who can rescue us is us. God can assist, but only after we have decided to help ourselves first. And that decision must be accompanied by some serious work on our behalf. We need to look at the reasons as to why we are lonely. First, we need toe examine our “I am” statements. Have we been clinging to beliefs like “I am not worthy of love,” or “I am not good enough to have people in my life who care about me,” or “I am boring and no one could like me”? Do we tell ourselves “I am a bad person and no one could like me if they knew the real me”?

Sometimes we’re lonely for love because we’ve never believed we were deserving of someone who really appealed to us. We may sit around pining for a certain guy or gal while telling ourselves “I am not pretty enough, or handsome enough” to be worthy of him/her. Or maybe we’re saying to ourselves “I am not from a good enough family,” or “I am not educated enough,” or “I am not making enough money” for that person to be interested in me.

Truth is, the poor pitiful me in each of us needs to wake up to reality. We can continue to affirm that we are unworthy and remain miserable for the rest of our lives, or we can take a risk. That risk is a major one. We can try replacing our “I am not worthy of that guy/gal” statements with “I am worthy of that guy/gal” statements. We can start affirming that we are good enough and then start believing it. The more we believe it, the more our egos will work to prove that we’re right: We are worthy of having a man or woman in our lives that we are really attracted to.

At the same time, the more we believe we are worthy the more we will project this belief to the world. We then will begin to notice that the guys and gals who interest us are suddenly beginning to take notice of us. They see us with new eyes because we are allowing them to see the real us for the very first time. No longer do they see the poor pitiful victim that they used to see when they looked our way. Now they see a vibrant person who obviously feels good about themselves.

The choice is ours. We can continue to be the mopey, lonely, trapped victim of our own mental messiness, or we can choose to be the attractive, vivacious person God created us to be. Let’s choose the latter and ask God to help us out of self-imposed loneliness and into social butterfly-hood. In doing so, we will grown new wings and allow our souls to shine!