If You Choose to Be Sexy, You Will Be Sexy!


“I’m too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt. I’m, I’m, I’m too sexy!”
Right Said Fred

I often encourage people to alter their morning ritual. I suggest that they make one little adjustment when they approach their bathroom mirror. Before shaving or applying makeup I tell them to sing a chorus of  “I’m Too Sexy for My Shirt.” And as soon as I make this suggestion, everyone does what you just did: They laugh out loud—or at the very least they allow a little smile to steal across their faces.

In recovery, it’s important to be able to laugh at yourself. We codependents tend to take life way too seriously. We ruminate over our feelings of emptiness and worthlessness. Some mornings it almost seems unbearable to look at ourselves in the mirror. We’re sick of our self-loathing and our self-imposed loneliness. And a good way to rise above all of our gloom is to be able to laugh at ourselves.

More importantly, if we stand in front of our mirrors and sing “I’m Too Sexy for My Shirt” or “Oh, You Beautiful Doll” or “I Feel Pretty,” we are actually affirming our worth. These are positive “I am” statements. There’s no reason why we can’t be sexy, or beautiful or pretty. We are the only ones who keep us from feeling good about ourselves.

Oh sure, maybe other people have said ugly things to us about our personal beauty, but who cares? Why do we give those people so much power over us? Why do we give a rat’s ass as to what people who say ugly things think about us or anyone else? We have the choice to stop validating their ugly words, and we can take back our personal power by choosing to validate ourselves—by choosing to believe that we are sexy, beautiful and pretty.

You don’t have to feel sexy or beautiful or even good about yourself to begin this morning ritual. If you aren’t in a naturally good space, then “act as if” you are in a good space. Sometimes we have to fake it initially if we’re in a really bad space. But remember, we’re the one who has chosen to place ourselves in a bad space. No one put us there without our assistance, and no one is keeping us there but us. We can choose to think negatively about ourselves, or we can choose to think positively about ourselves.

And since the choice is ours, why would we ever choose to think negatively about ourselves? It makes much more sense to choose to think positively about ourselves and to choose to affirm ourselves with compassion, kindness and love.

So get in front of that mirror, clear your throat and belt out a good chorus or two of “I’m Too Sexy for My Shirt.” You become what you choose to believe. And when you take the time to choose to believe that you are sexy, beautiful and pretty you will indeed become sexy and beautiful and pretty. Just give it time.

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