I’ve Got “My Love” to Keep Me Warm!

 
 
 
“You don’t know all the beauty you possess inside,
You just can’t see what I see in you…
If you could see you through my eyes
You’d see someone beautiful
On the inside and outside,
So beautiful you’d know how I feel
You’d know how much you mean to me
If you could see you through my eyes.”

Kenny Lattimore, If You Could See You (Through My Eyes)

Most everyone I know suffers from “blindness” when it comes to seeing their own personal beauty. So many of us suffer from self-persecution. We’ve made so many negative judgments against ourselves that we have long been blinded to the fact that we are wonderfully made. And, unfortunately, no one can tell us how beautiful we are inside or outside, and make us believe it. We have to choose to believe in our own beauty and value before we can accept anyone else’s positive evaluation of us.

We have to look past our negative self-judgments and choose to love the REAL person that we are underneath all of those harsh judgments. The Christmas season can be a particularly hard time for those of us who suffer from poor self-love. We hear so many codependent-minded Christmas songs that link happiness at this time of the year with being loved by someone special. And as recovering codependents, we are in the process of learning that no other person can be our savior or Higher Power. No one else can make us love ourselves at Christmas or any other time. We have to choose to love ourselves better if we want to be happy.

So this year, I suggest we turn things around. For example, next time we hear a song like I’ve Got My Love to Keep Me Warm, let’s rethink it. The lyrics say “The snow is snowing, the wind is blowing but I can weather the storm… I’ve got my love to keep me warm.” The “my love” is intended to mean a person outside of ourselves. But what if we thought of it as literally “my love;” meaning self-love? Let’s make the effort to believe that we have our own self-love to keep us warm and to see us through any storm the holiday season or life in general might provide.

We can certainly weather any storm better if we can depend on ourselves. No other person can be responsible for helping us 24 hours a day. We need to be able to warm our own hearts with loving, kind words. We need to be able to give ourselves comfort with a pat on the back or a warm hug. It’s a choice we have to make if we ever want to see our own inherent beauty in the same glorious way that others see it.

With the help of my Higher Power, I’m planning on giving myself the best possible gift this Christmas—self-love. That self-love will come complete with kind words, patience, gentleness, self-compassion, healthy boundaries and any other gift that will enhance my well-being and value as a person created in the image and likeness of God.

In this way, “my love” will help me to weather any storm that family gatherings may whip-up. “My love” will also help me to have a more comfortable and enjoyable time with friends because self-love helps us all to be less self-conscious and to feel equal to others. It provides us with an extremely important sense of belonging and helps us to feel equally as beautiful as everyone else is to us.


My Christmas wish and hope is that everyone who suffers from codependency or any addictive behavior will be able to come to see and love themselves the way others do. And this isn’t about vanity. It’s about Valuing. We are all created to value the person that God has honored us to be. Choose to begin valuing, honoring and loving that very person today!

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