Finding Ourselves Within the Emptiness of Self-Abandonment


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Take a Giant Step Outside Your Mind!

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In Recovery We Learn That Our Self-Worth Never Depends on Another Person

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Actually, I think a better spin on the above quote would be “your self-respect and self-worth never depend on another person.” Why? Because codependents make another person into their Higher Power, just like alcoholics make liquor into their Higher Power. And when we are constantly choosing people— mostly toxic people— to be our false Higher Power we generally make the mistakes listed below: We hand over all of our self-worth and we’ll-being to another person, then we start manipulating, or trying to change them into making us happy (instead of being responsible for our own happiness), we forgive them over and over every time they lie to or abuse us in other ways, because we trust their words while ignoring their actions, and we go running back to them over and over because we have become so addicted to our need for their approval.  In recovery we learn that we don’t need anyone’s approval, especially a toxic person’s, except our own. Recovery teaches us to turn ou...
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Fear of Abandonment Often Fuels Codependency

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No One Can Calm Your Codependent Crazies, But You

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Ah, the codependent crazies. Those needy, needy feelings. I remember well the deep emotional pain in the pit of my stomach: The throbbing sting of shame, fear, loneliness and anxious desperation. Those feelings that are like fingernails on the blackboard of your soul. They eat you alive from within as they dig deeper and deeper into the black hole of your inner-emptiness. Yes, I remember them well. And I remember evenings of mental and emotional insanity-- squirming with a magazine, pacing back and forth, indulging in chocolate, chasing up and down the stairs hoping the doorbell would ring, and staring endlessly at the telephone for a sign of hope. All I needed was a call from my false higher power; a call that would help me to know that I was OK, that I was needed, that I was worth thinking about in some good way. I was dying to be emotionally caressed on the head like a poodle desperate for the attention of his master. And certainly I had made that other person into my mas...
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