Calm Your Busy Brain by Focusing on What Excites You



It’s amazing. All of my life people have told me I look so calm, when in reality I have always been overwhelmed by a hurricane of horrific thoughts. Worry has been my constant companion, as a result of growing up in a household where there was constant mental and emotional chaos. And, of  course, having Obsessive Compulsive Disorder made it all worse.

This constant chaos, mixed with my OCD, put me into an ever vigilant fight or flight mode. Looking back, I can see now that I have almost always been trapped in my sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight), and have rarely been in touch with my parasympathetic nervous system (which actually allows us to rest and be calm.) All of this was fueled by the fact that I never felt safe— at home, school, walking down a street, at church, at a shopping mall, etc. No place on earth felt safe to me.

A doctor friend of mine recently told me that there are actually exercises he uses in his practice to help people get out of fight or flight and into their parasympathetic nervous system. He’s going to sit down with me soon and teach me some of the techniques.

To get me going, he suggested that I write down in a journal everything that I am excited about or looking forward to in my life. He emphasized “excited about” over “grateful.” While gratitude is certainly helpful, apparently we get more in touch with our parasympathetic nervous system by focusing on the things in life that make us happy or excited. 

So I’m focusing on those things that make me feel delighted and safe inside: My two week vacation that begins tomorrow in Los Angeles, where we’ll spend most of our time at Disneyland; Christmas; having the challenge of a new job in the New Year; a trip to Rome next March; a trip to New York in April to direct my annual men’s recovery retreat; a trip around Italy in May; etc. 

I have much to be excited about and grateful for in my life. Yet, most of my thoughts are constantly focused on negatives that frighten me. This is stopping NOW! I may not be able to keep my head from being busy with thoughts, but I can do a better job of owning and directing those thoughts; instead of allowing them to own and direct me.

Together with my Higher Power, I intend to consciously get more and more in touch with my parasympathetic nervous system and the feeling of being safe. Goodbye constant fight or flight!

Comments

  1. KellyOctober 21, 2018 at 9:05 PM

    Your writings and experiences are so inspiring to me. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
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