Are You Good for Your Mental Health?

 

If you are an "overthinker" like I am, you know how difficult it is to be someone who is actually good for your own mental health. I tell myself repeatedly that no one makes me miserable but ME. And all of that internal misery comes from thoughts that are mostly negative assumptions about how others view me or think of me. Much of my grief is also caused by the way I so easily project my own negative self-thoughts onto others. It's too easy to believe that others see me the same way I do-- even though there's no evidence that this is true.

In fact, the evidence is just the opposite. I can spend a morning ruminating over the idea that a particular person thinks I'm a worthless shit, only to have that person approach me with a warm hug and compliment! Immediately, I'm aware of the fact that I have been committing self-abuse with my thoughts. I've been wasting precious time being afraid and miserable when I could have been content and happy because NOTHING was actually wrong-- outside of my head.

It's easy to understand that we have too often been our own worst enemies thanks to our sometimes perpetual "stinking thinking." It's not so easy to correct it.

I have started catching myself when negative thoughts arise and telling myself "No judgments (against yourself)" or "Mistakes aren't fatal. They're learning experiences." Or I simply say to myself "I'm not going there today" when negative thoughts emerge. This is most effective if I do it right away, while the thoughts are surfacing. It's much easier to immediately dismiss them than it is if I allow the thoughts to snowball.

I've also learned that it's easier to stay in the present moment-- and out of my head-- if I surround myself with a few people. This isn't always easy because I'm an introvert and have a natural need for "me" time, but engaging with others forces me out of my head. So does going for a walk. When I walk, I concentrate on observing everything around me and that takes me out of my negative overthinking and into appreciation for all the wonderment around me.

 The solutions for quieting our minds aren't so difficult. Call a friend, get away from our desk at the office and speak with a coworker for a few minutes, go for an easy, enjoyable walk, accept an invitation from someone we feel safe being with. The hard part is making room in our heads for these positive self-help routines. The negative thoughts are usually crowding out positive alternatives in my head. Knowing this is true, I have to work harder to recognize when I'm being paralyzed by negative thoughts when I don't have to be. I can own my power over my thinking by engaging in any of the above solutions. I do want to be GOOD for my mental health.