Feeling Inferior? Get In-Touch with Your Self-Criticism

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

Eleanor Roosevelt

It’s certainly true that no one has ever made me feel inferior, aside from myself. We often make the mistake of blaming others for “making” us feel a certain way when there is no truth to this concept. No one “makes” me feel a certain way. I “choose” to feel a certain way.

If someone says something and I feel diminished in some way it’s probably because they’ve unknowingly touched on an area inside of me where I ruthlessly criticize myself. More often than not, there’s no intent on behalf of the other person to be mean. It’s more about how I feel about myself.

We can’t go through life telling ourselves repeatedly “I’m not good enough,” or “I’m such an idiot” or “I’m so ugly” or “I’m so incompetent” and not feel the repercussions of it at any given moment. This self-inflicted mental cruelty makes us hyper-vulnerable. We’re constantly on guard and at any moment we can purposely take anything any one says or does in a negative self-degrading way. It enables us to reinforce the identity that we have chosen for ourselves: that of perpetual victim.

Many of us have spent our entire lives being busy about making ourselves feel inferior. It’s time we stopped. I know now that if someone says something and I take it personally, it’s about me. What they have said isn’t “making” me feel bad or anxious. No. In reality what they said touched on a bad belief I have about myself; something inside of me that I’ve come to believe about myself that makes me feel insecure.

My job then is to get in touch with the belief I have that has awakened feelings of inferiority within me. Once I understand the belief, like “I am so incompetent. I can never do anything right,” I need to begin the process of actively challenging it. Where did it come from? Did my father repeatedly tell me such things when I was small and he was in a bad space? Have I been repeating them and believing them ever since? If so, I need to stop repeating them. I need to declare that there is no truth to these old self-degrading beliefs, and I need to free myself from them.

I free myself from them by adopting new positive statements and beliefs about myself. “I am competent. I do a good job. I make mistakes, but so does everyone. My mistakes don’t lessen my value. They are means for me to grow into being even more competent. They bless me with wisdom and move me forward to greater competency!”

Next time someone says something that makes you feel inferior, challenge the feeling. Was it really their intent to diminish you as a person, or are you feeling that way because their words touched on a wounded area in your soul? If the latter is true, and more likely than not it is, then sit down with your Higher Power and ask for the guidance to identify all of the ways in which you diminish yourself. Then ask for the help to turn your self-criticism into self-praise!