I AM a Very Remarkable Fellow!



“I’m never afraid. I Never look down. I always look up.
That’s why I’m a very remarkable fellow!
It’s wonderful the things I feel…
Sometimes I could reach out and touch a star!”
Chico, 7th Heaven (1927)

Positive thinking makes a tremendous difference in our lives. It’s all about perspective. And growing up in an alcoholic household didn’t allow me the chance to develop much in the way of a positive perspective. I spent most of my childhood feeling pretty hopeless. And the older I got, the less hope I had that things were going to get better. My teen-age years were far worse than my preteen years. Certainly, I learned to look down a lot, and if I felt remarkable in any way, it was remarkably worthless.

I had learned to give all of my power away to my parents and that started a trend. Likewise, I gave my power away to mean-spirited teachers, peers and even complete strangers. I had learned to be the perpetual victim, who freely gave his power away because he felt totally helpless. I had never progressed beyond being the four year old who accepted bad behavior from adults because he was powerless to defend himself.

At 15, I had no concept of being able to “look up” and defend myself. I was still the shame-faced boy who looked down and simply took it before running away to hide in shame. At 18, at 21, at 35, I was still caught in a shame-based victim mode. Life was a burden to bear. I might wake up on a given morning with hope that someone was finally going to come along that day and rescue me, but that was about as positive as my thinking got. And looking back now, I realize there was very little positive in hoping to be rescued by another person simply because it’s impossible.

I was the person who needed to rescue me. And I never knew that until I entered recovery through Codependents Anonymous. I was the only person who could give me back my power. I had to take my power back from everyone I had ever given it to, and I had to learn to look up, face others in the moment and retain my personal power at all times. This is one of the many things recovery has taught me to do.

I have to love me and believe I have value. I then have to own the personal power that God has given me (and all of us) to live my life to the fullest—and only my life: No one else’s. I’ve also had to work at catching myself in my negative, victim thinking. Now I watch my thoughts and when I am in victim mode, I have a choice to make: I can stay there, or I can choose to move into positive thinking. I can choose to stop looking down and to start looking up. I can leave my hell behind and I can reach for a star.

Like Chico, from the classic 1927 movie 7th Heaven, I am becoming a very remarkable fellow! And you can, too!

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