If We View Emotional Pain as Transformative, It Always Changes Us for the Better



There may be two types of pain in this world: the type that hurts and the type that changes, but I don't think it's possible to separate the two and be mentally, emotionally and spiritually healthy.

When someone betrays us, says ugly things to us, or treats us as if we don't count in this world, we experience emotional pain. Of course, these are just a few of the ways in which we may experience emotional pain. But the important lesson I've learned recently lies in what we do with that hurt.

We can 1) allow it to fester into anger, resentment and bitterness. We can become the perpetual victim of another person. Or we can 2) allow ourselves to grow through that hurt and suffering. We can face all of the emotional pain it has caused and we can be transformed within by facing that pain, surrendering it to our Higher Power, talking about it  with trusted individuals and allowing ourselves to be taken to a higher spiritual level.

 If we choose the first option, we will most likely choose to emotionally medicate the pain away through our addiction of choice: alcohol, codependency, shopping, gambling, over-eating, sex, pornography, etc. Choosing to addictively act-out will lead us to be angry, resentful and bitter because we are choosing to play the victim and to give our personal power away to the perpetrator.

 If we choose the second option is a choice to regain our personal power from the perpetrator by partnering with our Higher Power and choosing to face our pain, release it and learn from it. This option forces us to face life, gain wisdom and move forward healthier and happier. In addition to seeking help from our Higher Power, we can talk about our hurt feelings in a Recovery group meeting, or with a friend, and we can do spiritual reading to help us process our feelings and move forward by growing through the pain we have faced and conquered. 

 In this way, the pain that hurt us also changed us— for the better.

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