"Me, Too” Is Essential for Recovery: We ALL Count!



“Me, too” has been a continual stumbling block for me. It’s always OK for OTHER people to be happy, to enjoy their work, to enjoy good foods, to get plenty of sleep and exercise, to have play time and to enjoy pampering themselves with niceties. But it’s NEVER been OK for me— at least not inside of my head.

Recovery has taught me that only I am responsible for myself. And that I am ONLY responsible for my life. Just as I am responsible for my life, every other person in this world is responsible for their own lives. I am not responsible for them and they are not responsible for me.

This means that only I can make myself happy. Only I can decide what’s good for me and what’s not. Only I am responsible for meeting my health, economic and social/spiritual needs. In other words, if I don’t take care of me, who’s going to do it? NO ONE. Because no one is responsible for my life except me— and my Higher Power.

When I was in Rome last month, I felt guilty about having fun, about enjoying my free time. This guilt was all based in the fact that there has never been any “me, too” mentality in my head. It’s also rooted in existence shame, a feeling like I don’t even have the right to exist—much less be happy, and it’s haunted me my whole life. But I’m ready to change this thinking now.

I do have the RIGHT to exist and so do YOU! We all have the right to be happy. We all are justified in taking good care of ourselves. It’s our truest responsibility in this life. None of us were created by God to EARN our keep/worth by taking care of others’ needs. That’s insanity. Yes, we need to help others but it’s just as important that we learn to be willing to accept help from others, too.

It’s time to stop excluding ourselves from the good in life. We are deserving, we are worthy and it’s our inherent right as human beings to take very good care of ourselves. When we do so, we provide ourselves with the inner-resources to help others as we can. We just have to remember others are primarily responsible for themselves and we are first and foremost responsible for ourselves— including our well being and happiness.

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