Owning Our Personal Power Is a Choice We All Need to Make

In her book Choices, Melody Beattie mentions a visit with Elizabeth Kubler-Ross. During the visit a question is raised about “what it means to own my power”? Kubler-Ross replies “All you have to do is be who you are.” A simple answer to a complex question. An answer that seems so easy and yet is so difficult to successfully fulfill.

In life it’s pretty difficult to own your personal power by being who you are. Society tells us to be the acceptable norm that it has collectively decided we all should be. Religion tells us to be the acceptable norm that our respective faiths have decided we should be. Family adds on its collective norm. Before we are old enough to discover and understand who we really are, we have had a dozen false personas pasted all over us with cement glue. And it’s only at some point in adulthood that many of us begin to realize we have been imposters.

As adults many people begin to realize that certain “norms” that were forced on them simply don’t fit. These norms don’t feel comfortable and they may even feel totally contrary to who someone really is. A gay person who has been forced to walk his/her life’s path in “straight” shoes begins to feel the pinch of laces that don’t fit right. Likewise, an African-American, Asian or Latino person who has been cemented into the great “white” way of life begins to feel fake. They realize they have been estranged from their heritage and that they don’t really know who they are.

Discovering who you really are—underneath all those layers of false self—is difficult enough in itself; but understanding and feeling comfortable with the “real“ you can be even more difficult. How does a gay person own their power by walking in “gay” shoes in a world that insists you can only legitimately walk in “straight” shoes? Or how does a Hispanic person own their power by speaking Spanish in a world that demands you only speak English? It takes great courage to decide to own your power by being true to yourself and by demanding equality.

For many people owning their power is really about regaining their God-given equality in life. You don’t have to be gay or of a different ethnic or faith group from the “norm” to have problems owning your equality in life. Many people have trouble owning their power, their equality, simply because they have never seen themselves as equal to anyone. They have always judged themselves as being lesser than. When they have difficulties with someone in a relationship, they always yield and give their power away to the other person. They allow the other person to forever be right because they always see the other person as better than they are. And so their relationships are always with unequal partners because they fail to see themselves as being good enough for anyone.

Life is only filled with unequal relationships if we refuse to see ourselves as worthy. We don’t have to see ourselves that way. We can take back and own our personal power by rediscovering who we truly are: Unique reflections of the image and likeness of God. We are all perfectly imperfect reflections of Divinity, and as such we are all EQUAL. There are no exceptions. This is pure fact in the eyes of the Creator. So muster up the courage to discover who you really are under all of those layers of false self. Choose to love the real you with compassion and empathy. Choose to be proud of the unique reflection of God that you are. Be who you really are, own your power, create equal relationships with equal partners and allow your soul to shine!

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