Real Men Have Wrinkles in Their Superman Capes!

Many men think they have to be towers of strength for everyone else around them. They perceive themselves as men of steel who shoulder life’s burdens fearlessly, when in fact they are mental/emotional basket cases because they refuse to face their feelings and to share them with others who can help them.

This crack in the masculine armor really begins to make itself visible when these same men become fathers. Let’s face it: Father’s have lots to be concerned about. In addition to themselves they have spouses, children, house payments, car payments, educational expenses, credit card bills, employment issues, et al to get their stomach’s churning. It’s true that most spouses work and shoulder much of the burden today, but there are still more men than not who feel 100 percent responsible for their families.

So, it’s no wonder that most Dads suffer from heartburn and other digestive issues. They have many problems to juggle and they rarely, if ever, allow anyone to truly help them. Why? Because it isn’t considered masculine for men to express their fears or to allow themselves to be vulnerable enough to show wrinkles in their Superman capes.

Well listen up all of you Superman wannabes: You can’t be strong for others (in a healthy way) unless you allow others to be strong for you. This means when you are faced with difficult issues, when you have fears and worries, or when you’re feeling stressed in any way, you need to share your burdens and feelings with those who are closest to you. You need to share them with your significant other, your parents, your siblings, your friends or anyone you feel safe talking to about life’s difficulties. This is how you allow others to be strong for you so that you can cleanse your soul, gain mental clarity and move forward. It’s at this point that you can put your Superman cape back on and go about the business of being strong for others.

No one was created to shoulder life’s burdens alone, not even Jesus Christ. Why do you think he had the 12 Apostles? They weren’t just around to keep him entertained (or frustrated)! He needed the 12 to help him shoulder the burden of his ministry. He shared his fears and his concerns with them. He was vulnerable before them, open about his feelings and he allowed them to help him in his times of need. Men today need to learn to be just as open and vulnerable.

If you aren’t willing to try facing your feelings of fear or anxiety for yourself, then do it for your families. I know of no spouse or child who enjoys having an emotionally unavailable husband or father. There’s very little appeal to the strong silent type. In fact, it’s super-dysfunctional. Family members never know what’s going on inside of a man who won’t speak or share his inner-workings with them. Over time, you end up becoming a stranger to every other member of that family. You may be someone family members call husband or dad, but they don’t know you any better than they know the bus driver who takes them to work or school.

So, open up. Let the real you out. Share who you truly are with your family. Share your hopes and fears, your dreams and nightmares, your past and your present, your wants and your needs. Allow people to love you, even if there are wrinkles in your Superman cape. And most of all, allow them to be strong for you so you can be strong for them when they most need you to be their super-spouse or super-dad!