Get Naked by Bearing Your Soul in Intimate Relationships

Most everyone has a fear of naked intimacy. We are afraid to reveal our true selves to others. We are insecure as to whether or not we are good enough mentally, emotionally, spiritually or physically for others, especially someone we hope to engage in a lasting love relationship.

In love relationships, our fear of intimacy begins with revealing small bits and pieces about our inner-selves. We’ll reveal a little, but for the most part we hold back waiting to see how the other reacts. If they like what we have revealed, then we’ll reveal another tidbit, but we rarely feel secure enough to reveal all there is to know even as we are getting more and more serious about this person.

Time passes and we are enjoying each other’s company, seeing more and more of each other, and yet we still don’t feel safe enough to go any deeper than throwing out scraps or “pieces-parts” to each other. And these scraps are nothing more than whatever we have carefully screened and deemed will be acceptable to the other.

We may reach a point where we feel just comfortable enough taking our clothes off before one another. But even if we pass this test, we still have a fear of being rejected if we choose to get emotionally-naked before the other. So we end up bearing our bodies before each other, but not our souls. We think that this is still true intimacy, but in reality it is not. Physical intimacy is only a portion of the overall portrait of true life-affirming intimacy.

More time passes, and we may be pleased with each other physically, but we find that we’re both tired of munching on “pieces-parts.” Each of us is wondering “Where’s the beef” in this relationship? Why are we suddenly feeling stuck? Why don’t we have anything to talk about anymore? Why are we growing apart?

The answer is simple: We never grew together through true 100 percent intimacy. Sure, we know the basics about each other, we know each other’s bodies and habits, but we don’t know each other soul-deep. Pure intimacy requires that we bear our souls to each other, that we stand fully 100 percent naked before each other on an emotional, mental, spiritual and physical level. It means we have to open up and reveal who we are on the deepest, fullest levels of our being. We have to talk about who we really are, about our true dreams and desires, about our greatest joys and deepest disappointments, about all of our needs (on every level of our being), about all of our fears, fetishes and personal beliefs, and about our faith and hopes. We need to reveal what we really want from life and each other, and we need to talk about our most personal struggles.

We also need to ditch our pride and truthfully reveal just how precious we are to each other. We need to be able to honestly say how much we love and respect each other, despite our differences, or our failures or our disappointments. And this form of deep soul-intimacy needs to be an on-going daily revelation. We need to constantly share our deepest wants, needs and personal issues with each other on a daily basis. This is where true intimacy begins: From the soul. Heartfelt and shared intimacy is what takes us to a deeper level of mental, spiritual and physical intimacy. It’s where the “beef” is.

So if you are in a relationship where you are feeding the other “pieces-parts,” and you too are living off the other person’s scraps, then you need to make some important changes. You need to have a serious talk with your partner. Open up and show him/her where the beef really is in relationships. Open up your hearts and watch miracles happen by getting truly emotionally vulnerable, by getting soul-naked!