Prayer is a Partnership



“A nun I know once told me she kept begging God to take her character defects away from her. After years of this prayer, God finally got back to her: I’m not going to take anything away from you. 
You have to give it to me.”
Anne Lamont, Help-Thanks-Wow

I’ve come to believe that prayer needs to be very simple and that it needs to be a partnership. Prayer, to me, is simply talking with a Higher Power; no need for rote prayers. The most honest prayer comes from the heart. I write it myself with my honesty and vulnerability. Prayer is a partnership in that I ask a Higher Power for help with the things I am powerless over, and in that I accept responsibility for the things I need to do to help myself. Prayer isn’t about asking a Higher Power to do everything while I sit back and wait. This partnership means I work hand-in-hand with a Higher Power to resolve life’s burdens, and it often leads to a partnership with others as well.

I struggle with terrible bouts of sadness. The sadness is so overwhelming that my heart feels like it’s about to implode into a million bloody pieces. It feels like my soul is about to die. So I reach out and I ask my Higher Power for help. Sometimes I blame that Power (“Why are YOU doing this to me? Why don’t YOU just kill me and get it over?”), sometimes I challenge that Power (“Where are YOU? Help me to know YOU’re here by having someone call me and save me from myself! I need to know YOU care!”), and sometimes I just sit and pour all of my guts out to that Power as I sit with my unbearable sadness.

It’s extremely important to be honest with a Higher Power. God needs to hear the inner-most parts of our hearts and souls speak. We need to express ourselves truthfully and fully. We need to ask for what we need and want. And we need to lay it all on the table before our Higher Power. If we’re fearful, that’s OK. If we’re angry, that’s OK. If we’re needy, that’s OK. We must be real in our prayers.

After we have poured our hearts out, we need to give our Higher Power room to respond. This means that, even though are prayer can be specific, we need to keep an open mind. God may have other insights. God may know that the specifics we are wanting may not be in our best interest or the best interest of someone else we may be praying for. So once we have made a request, we need to be open to the idea that God will do what is BEST for us or a loved one. And that what is best may not be what we think is best.

Prayer as speaking with God means listening for God in various ways. Our Higher Power may respond to us through a small voice inside, through a series of new enlightening thoughts or through the help of another person. And it may be that, after we have spoken with God through prayer, we need to sort of continue our prayer by confiding in someone we trust.

So I always try to remember that prayer is about taking action. It’s about my honestly opening up to a Higher Power and to others for the assistance I need, but it’s also about my taking responsibility for the things I need to be doing to help myself. Prayer isn’t simply about “God take this away from me,” or “Make this better.” Prayer is also about my willingness to let go and give things to God. It’s about doing my part in partnership with God.  It’s also about truthfully asking for what I want and need, and yet being willing to accept whatever is really best for me, or others, by yielding to the wisdom of my Higher Power.

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