What Are You Afraid Of... ?

Fear is a major motivating factor in the behavior of many people. We have fears layered upon fears, and many of us are not aware that our surface fears are signposts. They tell us we need to do some inner-digging. We need to go deeper inside ourselves to undercover the primary fear that drives our belief system, and thus all we say and do.

Last year, I mentioned the 1944 movie “Mr. Skeffington,” starring Bette Davis, in one of my daily posts. And today I’m going to revisit the character of Fanny Trellis-Skeffington. On the surface, Fanny seems like an extremely vain and plastic person. But Fanny’s obsession with her physical appearance is not driven by vanity. It’s driven by fear. If we begin to examine Fanny’s fears, we first come to see that she is fearful of aging. She’s unhappy to learn that she is pregnant. Why? Because it means she can no longer be a child herself. Worse yet, her baby will grow-up and as it gets older, so will Fanny.

Underneath her fear of growing older is a deeper fear—that of losing her youthful natural beauty. You see, Fanny Skeffington is the belle of New York. She’s considered the most beautiful woman in all of the city and men are constantly chasing her. She thrives on their adulation. It’s her very lifeblood. So, is Fanny ages, she will lose her beauty. And if she loses her beauty, she will lose her admirers. And if she loses her admirers, she will lose their adoration.

Fanny’s deepest, darkest fear is even worse. For her, it’s bad enough to age, to no longer be a child, to have to be responsible for herself and to eventually lose all of her physical beauty. But worse yet, is having to face the fact that if she loses her beauty, she will have absolutely no value in this world. And she will be all alone and completely worthless. She will no longer be the apple of any man’s eyes. The world, as Fanny sees it, will no longer have any need for her.

What Fanny doesn’t understand is that her way of seeing herself, and her purpose in life, is warped. It’s been warped since she was a small child and lost both her parents to premature death. As a result, she never had the love and attention she needed to see that her true value in life comes from within her; and that it has nothing to do with physical beauty. No one is born simply to be a beauty queen. Everyone’s purpose in life is far greater than their earthly appearance.

Luckily for Fanny, after an arduous journey through the tough realities of life, she comes to finally believe that she has more value than mere physical beauty. It’s a very painful trip for Fanny, but she eventually learns that love and purpose live deep inside a person beyond the surface mask we all wear.

Today, stop and examine your surface fears. Peel them back like an onion skin. What’s underneath each fear? Keep on peeling them away until you reach the core fear that drives your behavior. It’s the only way to better understand yourself and to take back your power from your fears. Once you challenge your fears—all the way to the core—you can begin to change your beliefs and behaviors. Like Fanny, you will learn that your true value and purpose are deeper than any of your fears. And your soul will begin to shine!