It’s Time to Make Your Own Music, Start Your Own Dance!

“No one knows you better than you know yourself,

Do the thing you want, don't wait for someone else…

Don't stand in the corner waitin' for the chance,

Make your own music, start your own dance…

(Spotlight) Everybody is a star, you know who you are (Shine bright)

This is your chance to shine

It's got to come from the heart,

Do it right from the start and step into the light (Spotlight)”

Madonna, Spotlight (1987)

Spotlight has always been one of my favorite Madonna songs. I remember back in 1987, every time I heard this song my heart really resonated with the lyrics. And certainly now I know why: They were speaking directly to me, telling me it was time to get my act together, to get out of my corner, take ownership of my life and to step into the Spotlight as the star of my own life.

 At the time, I was wasting my life standing on the sidelines, afraid to be me. I was mostly hiding from the world and yet I was also hoping and waiting for someone to come to my rescue. Even these many years into recovery, I still sometimes find myself waiting in that corner and desperately wanting to blend in with the wallpaper instead of owning my life day by day. And, yes, there are times when I still wish someone else had the power to come and rescue me; but this is less and less my reality.

Recovery has forced me to know myself better. That’s one of the great benefits of attending Al-Anon or CODA meetings on a regular basis: It’s forces us to talk about who we are and all that has shaped our lives; the good and bad. And the more we talk, the more we discover and share who we are—with ourselves and others.

Once we begin to know ourselves better, it’s much easier to know what we want in life, to believe that we are worth being and having what we want, and thus to step up and “do the thing that you want” without waiting for someone else. We don’t need anyone else to be who we are. Who we are comes from the heart. We are who we are from the inside-out; never from the outside-in.

Outside influences are about who others are. This is why it’s so essential to really go inside and discern who we are from who others have influenced us to be. Inside, we know what feels right to us and what feels wrong. We know what we really like and what we don’t. We know, then, what we have taken ownership of that is truly ours and we also know what we have taken ownership of that is completely foreign to us—foreign because it really belongs to someone else. It’s part of someone else’s story, someone else’s life, someone else’s music, someone else’s dance.

There’s no way to enter into the Spotlight as the star of your story when you are doing someone else’s song and dance. The only way we can shine is by honoring ourselves, making our own music and dancing our own dance. In other words, we have to do some serious soul-searching, get in-touch with our own talents, and own our personal uniqueness. All we need comes from our own hearts. Once we are really in-touch with ourselves, we will love who we are and we will want to step out on that stage called LIFE-- where we can make our own music and dance our own dance in the Spotlight of our personal redemption. Go for it!