Refrain from Judgments and Criticism Until You Are Perfect!



Many codependents live in fear— fear of being imperfect and fear of being judged for being imperfect. I learned a lie at a very young age: “You have to be perfect or no one will like you.”

Unfortunately, I believed that lie as a child and held on tightly to it as I grew into being an adult. This lie kept me from accepting myself just as I am, imperfect. And it forced me to pretend to be something that is impossible for any human being to be, “perfect.”

Through Recovery, I’ve discovered the real truth: I’m perfectly imperfect— and so is everyone else. So I no longer am self-consumed with worry over how people judge me. If they do judge and criticize me, I now tell them “Come back when you’re perfect, and then you can judge me, but never before you’re perfect.”

And I try to practice the same rule when I find myself wanting to judge and criticize others. It’s better to have empathy and compassion with ourselves and others because truly NO ONE is PERFECT!

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