Disarm Your Emotional Security System and Enjoy Life!



I’m not sure I know what it’s like to feel fully alive. It’s scary to think of experiencing a moment to the fullest; to actually 100 percent feel the pain, the ecstasy, the thrill, the turbulence of any given moment. I hadn’t been conscious of my fear of being fully alive in the moment until last Wednesday. I was at Knott’s Berry Farm in Los Angeles with a friend of mine named Richard—who we also affectionately refer to as Bubba.

For those who don’t know, Knott’s Berry Farm is an amusement park in Southern California. Both Bubba and I like rollercoasters, and so the first ride we jumped on was the Silver Bullet, one of the best rollercoasters in my opinion. It scared me so much that I don’t think I had my eyes open more than a couple of seconds here and there. And this was evident in the picture that was snapped of Bubba and me on the ride. My eyes are closed tight and the expression on my face is even tighter. I look like I’m taking a really painful dump! Bubba, however, has a big beaming smile across his face and his eyes are wide-open. It’s quite a contrast to examine the two of us in that moment. He’s enjoying the moment to the fullest and I’m dying for it to be over.

I decided to buy the photo, something I never do, because it showed me how rigid I am still. Yes, I’m willing to take risks, like getting on a rollercoaster, but I’m not willing to let go, loosen up and fully experience the moment. I shut down and turn off because I am still controlled by my fears; and so the moment passes me by without my truly living—and enjoying-- it.

One of my favorite rides at any amusement park is the Pirate Ship, which swings like a pendulum. The higher you swing in one direction, the more you lose your stomach as you swing in the opposite direction. Knott’s has a ride like this that they call the Dragon Swing. As we started swinging to and fro, I became aware of my need to disconnect from the moment, to close my eyes and emotionally shutdown out of fear. So I decided to do the opposite; to keep my eyes open and to really, truly FEEL the euphoria and the terror of the ride as it swung me from one side of heaven to the other. I’m not sure that I fully felt it all, all that the moment had to offer, but I gave it a good try. And, as a result, I felt more fully alive.

Are you living moment by moment to the fullest of your ability? Are you feeling and experiencing life as it really is—in all of its Technicolor beauty and Dolby surround-sound? Or are you sliding through each moment disconnected, fearful and basically one-dimensional?

I think I learned to disconnect from the moment as a child because there were too many painful moments. It reached a point where I was constantly on my guard and fearful that the next moment might bring more hurt and humiliation. So I learned to just emotionally phase myself out of the moment—every moment—while remaining on-guard. Life became one big episode of endless fear. And that type of life sucks beyond words. I hope to break-down my emotional security system; to completely disarm it one day, so that I can be fully alive to each and every moment, no matter how scary the moment may be. Then my life will finally be three-dimensional and I will truly be 100 percent alive! Yes!

Comments

  1. AnonymousJanuary 12, 2013 at 6:43 AM

    DOUBLE WOW!, WOW! In the last couple of weeks I have been told that part of my BS (Belief System) is "black-or-white-either-or-all-or-nothing" while I agreed to accept this truth about myself, I did not fully EMBRACED IT. Until I came across the following description "FIGHT OR FLIGHT" this, I FULLY EMBRACED!!! This is what I did growing up, probably since I was a toddler, my LIFE was not safe...gotta go to Mass.

    The following has helped me MUCH.

    LOVE>FEAR

    Thank you Charlie!

    ReplyDelete

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