Accept the Apologies You Never Received and Move Into 2018 with a Positive Attitude

It’s best to choose to leave the resentments of 2017 behind us today, on this final day of the year. Some of us have been through difficult relationships this year that didn’t end well. Some of us are still holding on to resentments from past years that have become grudges. And often times we are stuck because we are still expecting apologies we never received.

I’ve heard many people say “I’ll never forgive him (her) until they beg me for forgiveness.” I used to say the same thing, but Recovery has taught me that holding on to a resentment, in hopes of receiving an apology, is detrimental to no one aside from myself.

I would often like to receive an apology from someone who was rude, abusive or who betrayed me in some way. But I no longer EXPECT to receive one; nor do I place limits on my ability to forgive by accepting what I cannot change. If someone has no intentions of apologizing, or is simply unable to do so because they are too wounded inside themselves, I can’t force them to apologize. I must accept what I am powerless to change and move forward by forgiving them, even if they aren’t sorry.

When relationships have hit rocky spots, I have often apologized for my role in what went wrong. That’s all I have the power to do. I can’t force the other person to take responsibility for their bad behavior; and I can’t force them to apologize. I can’t even make them accept my apology.

But no matter how a relationship changes or ends, I can be responsible for owning my behavior and for taking good care of myself. And today, on the last day of 2017, I choose to take good care of me by forgiving those people who never offered an apology or who chose not to work toward reconciliation. I can accept the apology I never received, forgive them by having empathy with their inner-brokenness, and thus move happily into 2018.

Happy New Year!