Perfect for You? No Way! We Can ONLY Be Perfectly-Imperfect!


Perfectionism is a big problem for many people, especially for addicts. So many of us are hard on ourselves because we can't be perfect. We spend our whole lives wearing masks: make-up, latest hairstyles, designer clothes, etc. We also wear the masks of being on our best behavior, of hiding our fears behind achievements at work, or of trying our best to be popular at social events. Our entire lives are wrapped-up in jumping through hoops to please others and make ourselves acceptable.

As a child, I was told by my mother that I had to be perfect or people wouldn't accept or like me. It became a mandate in my childhood mind that grew into a mental/emotional monster as I grew into adulthood.

Rachel Platten has a new song, Perfect for You, that truly hits the nail on the head. Here are some of the lyrics: “I'm flawed, I'm flawed, I know this, You like me in small doses, What am I supposed to do with that? Yeah, yeah, oh oh…And it's true, I can't seem to shake it loose 'cause all this insecurity's hurtin' me. Tired of tryin' to be perfect for you. I'm done jumping through hoops. There's too much time I've wasted on chasin'. And face it, I cannot be perfect for you, Be perfect for you, Be perfect for you, Be perfect. Yeah, I cannot be perfect for you… So love me, or leave me alone.”

Well, I'm done with trying to be perfect. It's impossible. And all the desire to be perfect does is feed the inner-critic that is constantly reminding me just how imperfect I am. Well, perfectionism and inner-critic I have a new message for you-- "Go F*CK yourselves!" 

I'm tired of trying to please everyone. I'm tired of projecting my own inferior feelings about being imperfect onto others and believing that they are thinking poorly of me because I am not perfect. In reality, I am trying to be perfect for people who are every bit as imperfect as I am. What sense does that make? NONE!!!

So, I will no longer listen to my inner-critic. When it offers me a personal put-down, I will tell it to "Go F*CK itself, to love me or leave me alone." I will also remind people who may criticize me for being imperfect that they have no right to being throwing stones at me or anyone else. No one is perfect. No one can be. So I'll tell them to "back off. I'm no longer jumping through hoops for you or anyone else."

And when I feel weak and afraid inside, I will rely on my Higher Power and trusted friends to help me regain my mental and emotional balance. I will attend support group meetings and I will continue to Power my way past my inner-critic-- and every outer-critic, too. I am good enough just the way I am: Perfectly-Imperfect. And so are you!

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