Dr. Jekyll Meets Mr./Ms. Hyde in Your Mirror

Everyday Dr. Jekyll meets Mr./Ms. Hyde in your mirror. Many of us don’t like to admit this fact. We prefer to look at other people and see the Mr./Ms. Hyde in them, but we almost never consciously see it in ourselves—even when we don’t like ourselves very well.

Over the past few years, I’ve had a problem with a certain Mr. Hyde. He was blustery and a natural born bully. He bullied me and I allowed it, for the most part. Bullying happens in many ways. It’s not just a matter of someone using physical strength against their victims, nor is it just a matter of verbal abuse. We can also bully others through the silent treatment, or by discounting what they say. We can act arrogant as if everything they think or say is trivial, stupid or just out and out wrong. This is also bullying.

Of course, I thought I was absolutely nothing like the Mr. Hyde I was having problems with. I’m not a natural born bully. I’m not physically the size of what we would normally consider to be a bully. And certainly I’ve never bullied anyone physically. I tend to think of myself as a kind and empathetic person, but I do understand that I have a dark side. I was well trained in how to use the silent treatment against people. And I’ve recently discovered that I can do an equally good job of discounting another person as my own Mr. Hyde did to me.

Every day I’m around a new coworker who gets under my skin. I haven’t fully figured out why, but he truly rubs me the wrong way. What this really says is that there’s something wrong with me. This person is hitting on a nerve that needs some healing. I haven’t quite figured out what that is yet, but I have figured out the fact that when he says something, I bully him. And I bully him by looking away with disinterest and acting like what he has to say is worthless.

This is where my Dr. Jekyll, the kind and empathetic part of me, meets my Mr. Hyde, the bully part of me, in the mirror today. I don’t want to be Mr. Hyde. I certainly don’t want to treat someone in the same objectionable manner in which I was treated. I didn’t like it and I don’t want to perpetuate it.

If someone is rubbing you the wrong way, ask yourself what’s going on inside of you? Are they bringing out the Mr. or Ms. Hyde in you? Are you acting like a bully toward them in some defensive way you don’t even understand yourself? Face your Mr. or Ms. Hyde in the mirror and make the conscious choice to change your behavior toward that person. That’s what I’m doing today. Everyone has feelings and everyone counts. Today I will remember that and I will treat everyone accordingly, even if they are rubbing me the wrong way.