Shit Happens to Everyone!


“These bruises make for better conversation… It’s good to let you in again, You’re not alone… Everybody loses. We all got bruises, We all got bruises.”
Train, Bruises

It’s easy to climb back onto your pity-pot. I find myself there whenever I lose sight of the bigger picture, which is nearly effortless to do. My focus narrows onto me, I feel all alone in a little world where suffering has sometimes become as commonplace as breathing, and I whine and cry “Why is this happening to me? It doesn’t happen to anyone else!” Ah, yes. There’s nothing quite like self-serving denial!

To shatter the denial, I find it’s good to climb down off the pity-pot, rant and rave at my Higher Power about how miserable I’m feeling and then go for a good walk to clear my head. Quickly enough, a state of reality returns and I regain sight of an essential eternal truth: Shit happens to everyone—not just me. Everyone suffers and we all have “bruises,” as the San Francisco band Train reminds us in one of their new songs.

The really good news is that redemption is found in our bruises—if we open up and share our experiences. We first need to open up and share them with our Higher Power. It’s the first step toward surrendering them and allowing them to heal. Then we need to talk with a trusted friend, or go to a support group meeting. Support groups allow us to open up and share our bruises with others who have come to tell about their own bruises.

Sharing takes us a giant step further toward seeing the bigger picture. We are confident that we aren’t alone in our suffering. We also learn from the suffering of others. We gain understanding and empathy, we see parallels between our story and theirs, we learn from each others’ solutions and we begin to believe that we can all learn to fly again through our mutual sharing.

If you’re currently on your pity pot, make a conscious choice to get off as soon as possible. Open up and release your pain into the hands of a Higher Power and others who are trustworthy. Then unfold your butterfly wings and fly.

Comments

  1. E.S. KraayApril 22, 2012 at 3:58 PM

    Spot on, Charlie. Suffering is a part of life and all great traditions are aware of it. I can't even imagine the physical and mental anguish that Jesus endured so that our personal suffering is NOT in vain. "Pity parties" are baloney, but some people truly need them. I'm sorry for them, and I pray that they will find the strength to disengage themselves from it.

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