Spiritual Resurrection Occurs When We Stop Nailing Ourselves to a Cross

What is Easter without the Resurrection? What is breath without air? What is life without love? And what is love without forgiveness? One has no purpose without the other. Yet, we often fail at being resurrected spiritually because we fail to take breaths that are true, we fail to live on life’s oasis of love and we fail to love ourselves well enough to forgive and to accept forgiveness.

This Lenten season I traveled around Arizona giving a series of talks I call “Have I Loved Well?” Loving well begins with loving one’s self well (unconditionally). And loving one’s self well leads to forgiving one’s self. Yet, almost everywhere I spoke, people told me of their inability to forgive themselves. It was obvious to me that the past still haunts many people because they don’t love themselves well enough to forgive themselves for the mistakes of their yesterdays.

There’s no good reason for failing to forgive yourself. God has already forgiven you for the past. All you have to do to receive this forgiveness is to ask for it. God’s forgiveness is never denied you no matter what you’ve done. There’s really only one reason why people can’t forgive themselves and that reason is this They choose not to forgive themselves. And they choose not to forgive themselves because their self-love is so poor that they don’t see themselves as worthy of love or forgiveness.

We hear a lot during Lent about carrying your crosses in life. But there’s a big difference between carrying a cross and nailing yourself to it. Shit happens. And it happens to everyone without exception. Sometimes that shit, which we have no power over, is a cross we need to bear. And we can bear it well by understanding the wisdom and the fruits that bearing these crosses provide us with as we journey through life. We don’t have to nail ourselves to these crosses, though, by playing the victim or the martyr. People who play these roles never see the wisdom gained by their suffering and so it never produces fruit or grace.

And people who play the victim or martyr tend to be people who don’t love themselves very well. They don’t believe they are worthy of anything more than being victims of life, and they find it very hard to forgive themselves or to accept forgiveness from others—even God.

So they nail themselves to many crosses. In fact every mistake they’ve ever made represents a cross that they’ve nailed themselves to and that they are still hanging upon. They’ve bloodied themselves and died many spiritual deaths. Why? Because they have chosen to do so.

Whenever we refuse to see ourselves as an image and likeness of the Divine, we choose to love ourselves poorly. And we choose to open the door to self-deprecation. We then choose to criticize ourselves—and every mistake we make—without mercy. We beat ourselves up and come to believe we are unworthy of love and forgiveness and all that’s good in life.

If you’ve ever boxed yourself in to this same sort of dark corner of misery, now’s the time to turn away from those dark walls. Now’s your chance to see the Light in all of the darkness—a darkness you created for yourself. Whether you’re Christian or not, Easter is a time of resurrection. Tomorrow, choose to be resurrected. Choose to see yourself as the image and likeness of God and choose to love the image and likeness of God that you are.

The more you choose to love yourself well, the easier you will find it to be gentle with yourself when you make mistakes. And the easier you will find it in your heart to truly forgive yourself for the past. You are never a victim of your past unless you choose to be by refusing to help yourself. And a healthy dose of self-love will provide you with the power to forgive your past, no matter what your mistakes have been.

If you are having trouble with removing the self-imposed nails of your own self-hatred, ask a Higher Power to help you. Remember, you were created by God and so you already possess God’s stamp of approval. Now, all you need is your own. God loves you just the way you are and so you have no excuse for refusing to love yourself in the same way. It’s your choice. You can choose to love, accept and forgive your humanness, or you can choose to hate, reject and condemn it. Why would anyone choose the latter, when the first option is so readily available?

This Easter of 2012 is the perfect day to take yourself down from any cross you’ve nailed yourself to over the years. Ask God for the grace to heal the wounds you have imposed on yourself, choose to love who you are and then choose to set yourself free of the past through the great grace of forgiveness. Forgive yourself, graciously accept the forgiveness of God and others, and truly allow the glow of Resurrection to light your spiritual path before you.