Be the Best Thing That's Ever Happened to You!

"For all these years you've protected the seed. It's time to become the flower."
Stephen C. Paul, Illuminations

I spent most of my life being the worst thing that has ever happened to me. And all the while I so desperately wanted one special person—friend or lover—to walk into my life, rescue me from myself and be the best thing that has ever happened to me. Years came and went without me ever finding that savior, and then I realized one day in 1999 that there was no special person who could be the “best thing” that ever happened to me, aside from myself.

It was a Saturday afternoon and I was sitting in the Lincoln Park Alano Club in Chicago at a Codependents Anonymous meeting. The floor was open and there was a moment of silence. Suddenly, someone spoke up. It was Sydney, and as God would have it, the words I needed to hear rolled off her tongue. She said she’d spent her whole life looking for someone to be the “best thing that’s ever happened to me,” and that she realized recently that no one could be—outside of herself. She said she had to be the best thing that has ever happened to her; and that all along, she had been searching for something she already had, but never appreciated.

“Wow! What an insight,” I thought to myself. “I have to be the best thing that’s ever happened to me!” I immediately loved the idea. It seemed simple at first, but then I gasped for air: “How can I be the best thing that’s ever happened to me? How do I do that? After all, I’m used to being my worst enemy. How could I become my best friend?” I began to squirm and then thought “I mean I know addicts tend to swing from one extreme to another, but this is one I’d never considered trying: to swing from hating myself to really loving myself. Is that even possible?” All of the joy escaped from my bright-idea balloon as my eyes searched the floor.

Then I realized that Sydney was right. For the longest time I’d wanted someone to make me right, make me OK; someone to appreciate me, treat me nicely, be my friend, like me as I am and help bring the real me to the surface of my life. Yet all these years later, I’d never found that person. Why? The answer was simple: All of my life I’d been looking outside for that person. That person wasn’t outside of me. That person was inside of me. That right person is me: The real me. The best thing that’s ever happened to me!

Next time you’re looking outside of yourself for that right person to be the best thing that’s ever happened to you, stop looking past your nose. Find a mirror and remind yourself that only you can be the best thing that’s ever happened to you, outside of God. Look inside and allow God to help you in becoming the best thing that has ever happened to you, and allow your soul to shine!

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