Fear Exists Only in Our Minds

“I’m not afraid… I’m not afraid, Mother!”

Charlotte Vale; Now, Voyager

My all-time favorite movie is 1942’s “Now, Voyager,” starring Bette Davis as Charlotte Vale. Charlotte is a sad, emotionally abused character. She has allowed her mother to control her thoughts, emotions and life since the moment she was born. When we meet Charlotte in the film, she is already a young woman who is merely a shadow of her mother. She thinks poorly of herself and she is afraid of people and life. She has permitted her mother to shame and guilt her into being a reclusive “ugly duckling.”

Charlotte feels trapped under her mother’s thumb and is on the verge of a nervous breakdown, when her sister-in-law, Lisa, steps-in to help her break free of her mother’s poisonous web. Charlotte receives the proper psychological help she needs and is given the chance to spread her wings in public. When her mother uses fear to manipulate Charlotte back into her web, Charlotte is able to stand up to her mother and set proper boundaries because she isn’t afraid anymore. She is no longer fearful to be vulnerable and to live her own life as she chooses.

Fear exists only in our minds. It has no more power than what we give it. Fear begins with a thought. All it takes is one crippling thought to send us into a downward spiral of negative thinking. So, if we have proper control over our thoughts, we will also have proper control over our fears. Instead of feeding fearful thoughts, we need to starve them. This is a lesson well-learned by Charlotte as the movie progresses. She trades her fear of facing the real world for the faith of succeeding in life. She trades the safety of her mother’s shackles for the satisfaction of personal independence; of relying on her own will and judgment, and on allowing the grace of God to supplement what she cannot do for herself.

How often in life have we chosen the safety of shackles over the satisfaction of personal independence—of believing in ourselves and in the power of God to help us? We are not helpless victims who need to rely on the power of other people to save us or make us OK. We are born with an inherent power, etched into us by God, to live our own lives, to be responsible for ourselves and to succeed through our own God-graced efforts. Sure we need the help of others in our journey through successful living. Charlotte had Lisa to help her spread her wings. But we don’t need to be dependent upon others the way Charlotte had been dependent upon her mother. No one can be our crutch for life. Sooner or later, we all have to face the world with a vibrant smile and the self-assurance that we were created to succeed.

Charlotte trades her codependence for independence and then learns to balance her independence with interdependence upon God and others. As children we are dependent upon our parents. As we become adults we need to become independent—to learn to think for ourselves and to believe in ourselves. Then we need to balance our independence with the interdependence of properly weighting our will and judgment against the will and judgment of others—most especially God. This gives us a sense of true balance and wholeness. We understand that we are an important person in this world, but that we are also only one of many important people worldwide that we are called to join hands with and to succeed together with before God.

So, let’s be like Charlotte-- trade our fearful thoughts for faith-filled thoughts. In doing so, we’ll step forward into the light of our day with faith in God and ourselves. We’ll also be better able to interdependently join hands with others, fulfill our true purpose and allow our souls to shine!