No Matter Where We Run, We Just End Up Running Into Ourselves

     “You know what your problem is, Miss Whoever-You-Are? You’re chicken! You’ve got no guts. You’re afraid to stick your neck out and say ‘life’s a fact’-- People do fall in love, people do belong to each other ‘cause that’s the only chance anybody’s got for real happiness. You call yourself a free-spirit, a wild thing. You’re terrified somebody’s gonna stick you in a cage. Well, baby, you’re already in that cage. You built it yourself. And it’s not bound on the West by Tulip, Texas, or on the East by Somalia Land. It’s wherever you go. Because no matter where you run, you just end up running into yourself!”         
Paul Varjak to Holly Golightly, Breakfast at Tiffany’s

Like Holly Golightly, some of us spend a lifetime running from ourselves. We run from the shame that divided father against son, daughter against mother; and we run from the pain of not being good enough. We run from memories of a loveless past, and we never look back. We may run from city to city, job to job, lover to lover; but no matter where or to whom we run, we just keep running into ourselves.

Running away from ourselves is not the solution because we are not the problem: Shame is. And so are the patterns of behavior we have nurtured to hide our shame. When we realize running doesn’t work and when we realize that we can’t make it through life alone anymore, hope emerges like light cutting through our storm clouds. That hope is God-- and once we surrender to God, we can finally stop denying our painful feelings and we can stop running from ourselves. We can pause long enough to breathe, feel, talk and acknowledge that “life is a fact,” and that we aren’t afraid to live our lives anymore.

God will provide the courage we need to face ourselves, our past and our shame-based fears with loving compassion once we stop running and start breathing. By embracing our shame, our inadequacies and our deepest fears, we will gain power over them, and we will take back our lives. We will be empowered to live courageously. We will stop existing and we will never again be on the lamb. We will experience peace as we make room for God's love in our hearts; and we will learn to love and accept ourselves just the way we are. Self-acceptance will help us to extend ourselves to others-- to those who will help us to feel even more safe and loved. The more we learn to love who we are, the more we will begin to see our true beauty reflected back to us in the newly opened, loving and accepting eyes we see in the mirror each morning.

Today, let’s ask God to help us to stop running from ourselves and start living life as God intended: Allowing our souls to shine!

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