If We're Being Critical of Others, We Need to Stop and Take Our Own Inventory

“The distractions you create to cope clutter your consciousness.”
Stephen C. Paul, Illuminations

Anyone who has ever worked in retail is familiar with taking inventory. Retailers close-down periodically so they can review their stock. Through an inventory check they can see what’s actually in-stock versus what’s supposed to be in-stock. If the numbers don’t balance-out, they can then investigate further to see if something wasn’t recorded or filed properly, or if it’s actually missing and possibly stolen. It’s important for a store to take inventory as a means of retaining proper balance.

The same is true for humans. We need to take personal inventories in order to maintain a good sense of balance. The focus of a personal inventory is generally on our behavior, since behavior is something we can change about ourselves. During a personal inventory we may ask ourselves questions like: 1) Are we being truthful with ourselves and others, or are we in denial? 2) Are we helping others from a wealth of self-love, or are we really care-taking others to get the love we aren’t giving to ourselves? 3) Are we being responsible for our own happiness, or are we manipulating others because we’ve chosen to make them responsible for our happiness? 4) Are we being kind to ourselves and thus to others, or are we being a holy-terror of criticism and condemnation?

If we answer these questions honestly, we will better be able to distinguish the areas within us that are well-balanced from those that are out of balance. Sometimes we aren’t able to do good personal inventories, however, because we are in a bad emotional space and we can’t quite cope with honestly facing ourselves. We place blinders on our inner-eyes by creating clutter in our heads. The clutter distracts us from ourselves; and it often takes the form of a personal inventory-- but it’s never our personal inventory. When we aren’t able to honestly face ourselves, we easily shift into cluttering our consciousness with other people’s issues. Many of us have become masters of taking other people’s inventories-- to our detriment and to theirs.

When we choose to distract ourselves by taking other people’s inventories, no one is safe from our self-righteous radar. And no one can do right. We find fault with almost everything someone says or does. Our tongues are leather whips cracking nasty comments across people’s backs (when we’re cowardly) or across their faces (when we gain a little moxie). Truth is this criticism of others is really about us. It’s an overflow of all the self-criticism we’ve been subconsciously whipping ourselves with 24/7. Yes, it’s a well-ignored collection of bad feelings we’ve avoided facing and processing-- and it’s spilling out all over our conscious world in the venom of self-righteousness.

Any time we are feeling critical or resentful of others, it’s almost always about us; about the fact that we aren’t taking care of ourselves by facing our own issues. So, when we have the desire to criticize others, we need to stop and examine our need. It helps to call upon God and ask for the proper guidance to honestly look inside ourselves at the places where we are hurting. Our Higher Power can assist us in facing the broken places in our subconscious so we can clear out the clutter it’s caused in our conscious mind. Once we honestly face our own issues, we can honestly look at someone else’s issues. And, most likely, their issues won’t look so bad. God will have helped us gain some much needed compassion and empathy, allowing our souls to shine!