Experiencing Higher Love

“I want a Higher Love that makes me feel unconditionally loved, heard, validated, and cared about at all times. I want a Higher Love that comforts me and makes me feel valuable. I want a Love so great that I feel safe, warm and cared about always.” I originally prayed these words last Friday. As the day progressed, I felt myself changing gently inside.

Traffic in Los Angeles was horrific on Friday, so I decided against going back to Hollywood. Instead I went back to Knott’s Berry Farm to walk through the shops. I wanted to get something for the friends who have hosted me here, allowing me to stay with them. I found some nice things in one of the shops. The clerk who waited on me sent someone to get a gift box and it took considerable time for the person to return with the box. She (the clerk) was feeling the pressure, since we Americans are so impatient. But I wasn’t. In the past I would have felt impatient and anxious. I would have been agitated and mad. Friday I was at peace waiting.

I left Knott’s Berry Farm and went to Long Beach. At Fern’s garden I bought two amulets, one for Love and one for Clarity. I don’t usually wear anything around my neck, but I like the idea of wearing something that says “Love.” Afterwards I walked over to a Mediterranean restaurant. I was seated, placed my order and then asked for directions to the restroom. When I returned from the restroom, there were two people seated at my table. I was confused but I wasn’t mad. The waiter got my attention and directed me to an even better table on the patio.

When my order arrived, a Halibut sandwich with Greek salad, I took a bite of the sandwich and noticed it tasted different. It wasn’t Halibut. It was a roasted veggie sandwich. Again, I wasn’t upset that the order was wrong. It tasted good. After I had nearly finished the first half of the sandwich, the waiter showed up with a Halibut sandwich and a flustered look on his face. He apologized and I said “It’s OK. This is good and I will finish it.” I knew I couldn’t eat both. He seemed relieved that I understood it was a crazy day for him and that I wasn’t angry.

Truth is, I didn’t feel angry at all. I didn’t complain to myself. I didn’t feel like a victim. I wasn’t singing “Why me?” I felt love and peace—for myself and for the waiter.

So I feel like my new Higher Power (Higher Love) quickly moved-in to my heart and soul. I am waiting now to see how this new Higher Love will grow inside of me. If you, too, are struggling with God, or with knowing a Higher Power, pray for that Power to make itself known inside of you. I hope you will experience the unexpected-- and unexplainable-- peace and love that I have.